Archive: April 2012

How To Talk To Your Kids About Death and Heaven

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Death and Heaven.  Not necessarily easy subjects to discuss, even for a Christian adult.  While our faith rests in the hope of Eternal Life through Christ, for most of us, the death of a loved one who is a believer is still something with which we struggle to understand and cope with.

We may wonder how to protect the hearts of our children from pain when a death occurs in our family or circle of friends.  How to do we tackle the subjects of physical death and the hope of Heaven, without totally scaring our kids, as we ourselves are dealing with our own plethora of emotions?

Several years ago, when my oldest son was only 5, our four-year-old nephew died after an eighteen month battle with brain cancer.   We didn’t know how to explain cancer to our son, so instead we told him that his cousin went to Heaven because he had gotten “sick”.  Little did we know that because we didn’t give him enough information, he internalized that everyone he loved COULD die if they simply got “sick”; meaning a simple cold could take mom or dad away to Heaven, just like his little cousin.  It became a pretty scary thought for him, which he internalized for about a year!!

I spoke to a friend of mine who is also a therapist, because I needed to figure out how to help my son deal with his own grief and console him that there was a better than average chance that my husband and I were not going to die if we caught a cold. She told me that just like discussing the “facts of life” with our kids has to be done in intervals that answer their specific questions, as their maturity dictates, we need to also have honest communication with our kids about death.

It may be perfectly acceptable for a three-year-old to hear that grandma went to Heaven because Jesus called her home. While we will miss seeing her at Christmastime, we know that she is now in Heaven with grandpa! This helps explain why we are sad that she is no longer here with us, but also rejoicing that she is in Heaven.  But if you have an older child who needs more information to alleviate undue anxiety, it might be important to talk to them about grandma’s heart being sick, or her cancer, etc.– still reassuring them that Heaven is a wonderful place that Jesus has prepared for us!  While a lot of kids may not need any more information than that, be open to their questions and pray for guidance as you answer them truthfully, yet carefully.  Although I have no medical credentials, I would advise everyone to also enlist the help of a child therapist or pastor if the concepts of death and the afterlife are just too hard to explain.  Surrounding ourselves with a trusted, like-minded support group during times of grief is always a good idea!

The Bible reveals a few facts about what happens after we die.  We can turn to these following scriptures for comfort and use them as a resource to help our kids better understand what happens at the end of our life, here on earth.

Believer’s can face death without fear! (1 Corinthians 15:54-57) “When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

We will enter into the Lord’s presence at the time of our death! (2 Corinthians: 5-8) “Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”

Jesus, himself, has prepared a special place in Heaven for each of us! (John 14:1-3) “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.  In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

Those who believe in Jesus are promised eternal life with Him after their physical death! (John 11:25-26) “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.””

If you’ve had to explain the death of a loved one to your child, how did you approach it?  What additional resources would you recommend to other parents trying to explain this  tough subject, while dealing with their own grief?  Please share in the comments section.

About the Author: Lisa Strnad is a freelance writer/blogger, who regularly contributes to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly.  She is a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville, TN.  Follow her blog at www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com

I Want To Be A Mom Like Deborah

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Deborah Just recently, I began studying the Book of Judges.  Specifically, I honed in on Deborah, who, before this study, I knew little about.  As I read more about who Deborah was, I began to understand how I would really like to emulate her character–as a wife and mother.

Deborah lived in a time when there was no king over the nation of Israel, a time when the head of each family was responsible to teach faithfulness to God.  Because of this, the people’s faith in God and loyalty to their nation was broken.

Deborah was incredibly wise. She was a prophetess who encouraged people to follow God’s Law and reminded them of His faithfulness.  She was the only female judge in Israel. Because of her wisdom, people would come to her to help them sort through disputes. She was essentially responsible for leading the Israelites in battle against the Canaanites, yet she took no personal credit in the victory.  But she was humble, the wife of Lappidoth, and even after a great military victory, described herself as simply, “a mother in Israel” (Judges 5:7).

Obviously she possessed great leadership skills, but her greatest character traits were her unwavering faith in God and her personal relationship with Him.

My recent study of Deborah came at a time in my life when I was contemplating making career changes – changes that would have a definite impact on my family, especially my children.  Admittedly, I was longing for a type of personal achievement in my professional career and I guess also a bit of prestige – some of the things that we stay-at-home, home-schooling moms seldom receive.  While I prayed about this possible change, I kept hearing God tell me, “Not now.”  It wasn’t a stern voice, admonishing me for being selfish, which is what I probably deserved–and even expected.  No, God, my loving Father, knew my heart.  He led me to His Word, and quite perfectly, He led me to read about Deborah; a mother in Israel, who He used for His great purpose.

God opened my eyes to the current career I have been personally called into BY GOD– motherhood; educator; advocate; wife; daughter; homemaker.  He reminded me about the importance of these roles. He reminded me How my daily routine, while seemingly mundane to me, actually made a difference in the lives of those I love the most.

Studying Deborah has allowed me to re-evaluate my life, my purpose, and my calling. Deborah was concerned about people not personal success.  In her example, we can all learn that God will accomplish great things through the people who are willing to trust Him! Like Deborah, I hope to learn the importance of fully relying on God, and pray for His daily guidance in every decision that I must make as a wife and mother.

This week I am keeping all of you women in prayer who are called by God to work at home with your kids.  May God bless you with wisdom in your daily work as mother, mediator, counselor, educator and advisor.

About the Author: Lisa Strnad is a freelance writer/blogger, who regularly contributes to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly.  She is a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville, TN.  Follow her blog at www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com

Phil Vischer talks to Focus on the Family about Easter

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Last week, Phil Vischer was a guest on the Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast with Jim Daly, Dr. Juli Slattery and John Fuller. Phil discussed how to teach kids about Easter, as well as talked about What’s in the Bible? and parenting through the different stages of a child’s life.

You can listen to the full broadcast here.

Here are some of our favorite moments from the broadcast:

On Easter

 

“You had a debt you couldn’t pay and Jesus paid it for you.  And that’s what we’re celebrating.  So, you focus on the celebration.  To move away from the secular view of Easter, I think one important point is to celebrate the whole week. Celebrate Holy Week.”

“Easter is the Super Bowl of Christian holidays, not Christmas. So, I think the first step is to put Christmas back in its place and say, “Hey, Jesus was born.  Isn’t that wonderful?  What does that point us towards?”  It points towards Easter. Now you’re thinking of Easter all through the year.”

“That’s one of the things I don’t like about in when we turn holidays into huge productions, is that it implies that all of this meaning is confined to a certain day of the year and we’re not living in it.  You know, we need to be steeped in Easter.  We’re in the soup of Easter, you know.”

“We don’t go to Easter to learn about Jesus.  We go to Easter to celebrate what we know already. “

On Teaching Kids of Different Ages

 

Jim Daly: When you look at it for your own kids, I mean, when you look at age 5, what do you really want them to understand? At age 10, what should they be grasping? 

Phil Vischer: At 5, I think Resurrection Eggs are actually a really good tool, because you take something they enjoy, coloring eggs and the notion of eggs and bring the story of Jesus out of it. There are also tools like The Jesus Storybook Bible, which is a version of the Bible that points to how Jesus is the subtext behind every story.  It’s an amazing little Bible storybook that’s become very popular.  Those are the things you start with kids when they’re 5, tools that use things they like–picture books, eggs–to bring the story of Jesus out in a very kid-friendly way.

When you’re 10, you’re ready to look at images of the cross. So, you can actually start to feed ‘em. As you get into grade school, as you get towards 10, we need to think, okay, why isn’t the world the way you would like it to be?  Why isn’t school the way you would like it to be? Why are you having conflicts with your friends? Why does nothing seem to work the way you would like it to work? Let’s talk about sin. And sin is something that is in all of us and ruins our relationships and makes everything harder and we can’t be with God, because He’s holy and we’re not.  He’s perfect and we’re not.  He’s got a standard that’s way up here and no matter what kind of gym shoes we have on, we can’t jump that high.  We can’t meet God where He is. And that’s where you’re telling the Gospel. That’s where you’re presenting the Gospel. So, for an 8-, 9-, 10-year-old, which is why with What’s in the Bible?, which is geared for that age kids, we’re really hitting the Gospel.

 

Did you listen to the broadcast? What were some of your favorite moments?

Easter Blog Series

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The team at What’s in the Bible? has put together a series of blog posts to help you understand the history & traditions around Easter! We hope you enjoy it.

What is Easter?

What is Holy Week?

How to Talk to Your Kids about the Crucifixion

Easter Songs and Prayers

History of the Easter Bunny

Celebrating Easter as a Family {guest post}

How to Bring Every Lesson Back to Jesus {guest post}

What is Lent?

How to Talk to Your Kids about Lent

Lent Craft: Jellybean Prayer Jar

How to Talk to Your Kids About the Crucifixion

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As the last installment of our Easter blog series, Lisa shares how she talks to her kids about the gravity and glory of the Cross – not always an easy balance with kids!

Talk to Kids about the Crucifixion

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How do we effectively communicate to our kids that the gloriousness of Easter is about much more than colored eggs and baskets of candy? Many of us now use the term “Resurrection Sunday” instead of Easter, to clarify what it is we are truly celebrating. But the thing is we can’t talk about the Resurrection without talking about Jesus’ death, and we can’t talk about His death without talking about crucifixion.

Is crucifixion too scary of a subject for kids?

The Crucifixion is indeed a powerfully disturbing event, even for adults! But if we tackle it as age appropriately as possible; remembering each child’s developmental readiness, the story of Salvation, through Jesus’ death, burial AND resurrection becomes personal and purposeful.

Using language that they understand, start talking to your kids about what happened to Jesus on Good Friday. Keeping in mind that too much graphic detail isn’t necessary to convey His act of love and sacrifice. Death, in and of itself, might also be a concept not fully comprehensible to a young child. They’ve heard about people, maybe even pets, dying but may have never personally experienced such an event.

When I was teaching my own kids about what happened on Good Friday, I explained that in the time of Jesus, people who did bad things were hung on crosses as a punishment and would die on these crosses. They would either tie a person’s hands and feet to the cross or, as in Jesus’ case, use nails to hang Him on his cross. It hurt a lot. More than any pain we can imagine. He was being punished for things he never did. Jesus was perfect and never sinned but because God loves us so much, and wants us to be with Him forever, He took all the sin from each of us, even the sin that was in our hearts, and placed it on Jesus. When Jesus died and was buried, all of our sins died and were buried too. Forever. We are now forgiven because of what Jesus did for us on the cross! Jesus took our place when He was punished for all of our sins. He loves us that much!

If you are a fan of using Resurrection Eggs, you may enjoy the story of Benjamin’s Box . This story goes along with the Resurrection Eggs, and follows a young boy named Benjamin who is in Jerusalem at the same time as Jesus. He wants to learn more about Jesus, so he follows him during this one week. At first he thinks Jesus is a teacher, then he thinks he is a king– finally he learns the Good News and who Jesus really is! Story can be such a great way of reinforcing the truth of the Gospel!

We try to protect the hearts of our kids, but it’s okay for kids to feel sad that Jesus suffered so much. If you have a child who is especially sensitive, it’s always a good thing to remind them, right away, that the story of salvation doesn’t end at Good Friday. Sunday is coming! The “rescue plan” of salvation is not just about Jesus’ death and burial– but it is completed through His resurrection! He is Risen! He is alive! Our tears of sadness will turn into joy!

Have you talked to your kids about the Crucifixion?

 

About the Author: Lisa Strnad is a freelance writer/blogger, who regularly contributes to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She is a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville, TN. Follow her blog at http://www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com/.

What is Holy Week?

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For the next installment in our What’s in the Bible? Easter blog series, we’re explaining each of the days of Holy Week, their histories and how we currently celebrate.

What is Holy Week?

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What is Holy Week?

Holy Week marks the final week of the season of Lent and it recounts the final days of Christ’s life, as well as his death, burial, and resurrection. In the early developments of this tradition, Good Friday and Holy Saturday were the first to be designated as holy days. Some early accounts also included Easter Sunday morning. It was not until the 4th century that Thursday became a holy day, and Wednesday was later added in remembrance of Judas’ plot to betray Jesus. The remaining days were added by the middle of the 4th century.[1]

Holy Week was first mentioned by Irenaeus near the end of the 2nd century, though Eusebius believed it dated back to Apostolic times. In the East, “Holy Week was distinguished from the rest of Lent by the extreme strictness of the fast.”[2] In fact, some Christians kept an absolute fast during the entire week.[3]

Today, Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday and concludes with the celebration of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection.

What is Palm Sunday?

Palm Sunday—The sixth and last Sunday of Lent, this day marks the beginning of Holy Week (though some sources dictate that Holy Week does not begin until the Monday following) and commemorates Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem. It is named for the palm branches that were spread on the road to mark Christ’s arrival (Matthew 21:7-9).

Christians have commemorated the events of that day since the 4th century, though the earliest mention of “Palm Sunday” did not appear until the 7th century, nor was any formal service of celebration documented until the 9th century.[4]

In the Middle Ages, Christians developed an elaborate ritual, the vestiges of which remain in church observances today. At this earlier time in the church’s history, Christians carried palm fronds from one church to another, and their procession was frequently accompanied by a Gospel book, a crucifix, or a carved figure of Jesus seated upon a wooden donkey. Once the procession reached its destination, the palms were blessed and distributed.[5]

This ritual eventually developed into a service that is similar to Catholic Mass, however the Catholic Church eventually simplified the tradition into what we know today. It was not until relatively recently that Protestant churches adopted their own Palm Sunday ceremonies.[6]

Today, Palm Sunday is marked by the ceremonial “blessing of the palms.” The palms are then carried in a procession as symbols of Christ’s victory and protection.[7]

It is also worth noting that the Palm Sunday fronds are later burned, and their ashes are used the following year on Ash Wednesday.

What is Maundy Thursday?

Maundy Thursday—Properly called “Thursday of the Lord’s Supper,” this day commemorates the institution of the Eucharist at Jesus’ Last Supper.[8] The term “Maundy” reportedly comes from the Latin mandatum, referring to the “command” Jesus gave his followers at the Last Supper to love one another (John 13:34). The name may also derive from the Latin mundo meaning “to wash,” and may therefore refer to Christ’s washing of the disciple’s feet.[9]

This day has been remembered since the early centuries of the church. In the 4th century it was observed as a feast in the Jerusalem church, and in the 6th century it was observed in Gaul as Natalis Calicis or “Birthday of the Chalice.” In medieval England it was known as “Chare Thursday” and in Germany as “Green Thursday,” possibly deriving from the word grunen meaning “to mourn.”[10]

During the Middle Ages, bishops, abbots, and noblemen observed Maundy Thursday by washing the feet of the poor, a deliberate imitation of Christ’s washing of the disciples’ feet. In 1572 Queen Elizabeth I washed the feet of thirty-nine poor people at Greenwich Palace, a tradition that was taken up by numerous monarchs after her.[11]

Today, Maundy Thursday is almost universally celebrated by partaking of the Lord’s Supper.

What is Good Friday?

Good Friday—Formally known as the “Friday of the passion and death of the Lord,” this day marks the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. It is a day of sorrow and mourning.[12]

The name “Good Friday” is rather paradoxical given the dark tone of the day and the terrible events that it commemorates. The origin is actually rather unclear. Some scholars maintain that it derives from the phrase “God Friday.”[13]

In early Christian writings, Good Friday was known as “Paschal Day,” “The Day of Preparations,” “ The Day of our Lord’s Passion,” and “Long Friday.” The term “Long Friday” probably derived from the long fasts and services that marked the day.[14] Some of these names appear as early as the 2nd century, and it was in the year 321 that Emperor Constantine decreed Good Friday as a day of rest. In 633 the Fourth Council of Toledo declared that no one could partake in Easter Eucharist unless they had fasted until three o’clock in the afternoon on Good Friday.[15]

Today, Christians observe Good Friday with somber services that reflect on Christ’s final hours and the Stations of the Cross. On this day, Christians often veil the cross in black.

What is Holy Saturday?

Holy Saturday—This day is traditionally a quiet day of prayer and reflection spent in preparation for Easter and the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. Earlier in the church’s history this day was also known as the “Great Sabbath.”[16]

What is Easter Sunday?

Easter Sunday—This day marks the annual celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The word “easter” is “thought to derive from the name of an obscure Germanic goddess of spring, Eastre (a view popularized by the English monk Bede), or more likely, from an old German root for dawn or east (the time and place of the rising sun). At an early date and for obscure reasons, these Germanic words came to translate the Greek pascha (from the Heb. pesah), the biblical word for the Paschal (Passover) feast.”[17]

For a brief time in the early centuries of the church, Christians debated over the day that Easter should be observed. Some wanted to celebrate Easter on a particular Sunday each year, but others wished to keep the day more closely linked to the Jewish Passover. More precisely, this latter group wished to observe Easter “on the third day of the fourteenth Nisan,” a date that would have rotated throughout the days of the week from year to year.

In the year 325, the Council of Nicea put an end to the debate by settling on the former view. Since then, Easter has been celebrated on the Sunday nearest to the calculated anniversary of the Resurrection, which is determined by the first full moon after the spring equinox (March 21).[18]

In its earlier forms, Easter was a “unitary night celebration” similar to Passover that remembered both the death and the resurrection of Christ. After the 4th century, the unitary feast was divided into several parts that distinguished Easter Sunday morning for the specific celebration of the resurrection.[19]

Historically, Easter has also been associated with baptism. The immersion into and re-emerging from the baptismal waters signifies the death and Resurrection of Christ, so Easter became a festival of both the Resurrection of Christ and the baptism of new believers. At one time, the Roman church oversaw thousands of baptisms each Easter Sunday.[20]

Today, Easter is the most joyous occasion in the Christian calendar. It is the climax of the Holy Week journey, during which time Christians have remembered the difficult steps of Christ and mourned them. It is against the darkness of Holy Week that Easter Day is especially bright. The black veil of the cross is lifted, and Christians celebrate with hymns such as “Lift High the Cross.”


[1] Walter A. Elwell, Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Baker Academic, 2001). p. 573

[2] William Edward Addis and Thomas Arnold, A Catholic Dictionary: Containing Some Account of the Doctrine, Discipline, Rites, Ceremonies, Councils, and Religious Orders of the Catholic Church (K. Paul, Trench & Co., 1893). p. 445

[3] Ibid.

[4] Leonard W. Cowie and John Selwyn Gummer, The Christian Calendar: a Complete Guide to the Seasons of the Christian Year Telling the Story of Christ and the Saints, from Advent to Pentecost (G. & C. Merriam Co., 1974). p. 69

[5] Addis, p. 445

[6] Ibid.

[7] Frank Leslie Cross and Elizabeth A. Livingstone, The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church (Oxford University Press, 2005). p. 1220

[8] Cowie, p. 74

[9] Elwell, p. 750

[10] Elwell, p. 750

[11] Cowie, p. 74

[12] Elwell, p. 573

[13] Charles George Herbermann et al., The Catholic Encyclopedia: An International Work of Reference on the Constitution, Doctrine, Discipline, and History of the Catholic Church (The Catholic Encyclopedia Inc., 1913). p. 643

[14] Cowie, p. 77

[15] Cowie, p. 78

[16] Cowie, p. 82

[17] Elwell, p. 360-361

[18] Cowie and Gummer, The Christian Calendar. p. 85

[19] Elwell, p. 361

[20] Cowie, p. 85-86