Tag: parenting
Using Discernment in Asking for the Holy Spirit’s Guidance
Since we’ve been talking about the Holy Spirit lately, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the issue of discernment when we pray and ask for the Spirit’s guidance. As parents we routinely ask for clarity and wisdom in making very pertinent decisions that affect our children.
Each year I pray for guidance as to what to do for my son’s education. Having special needs, I have trusted the Holy Spirit to guide me, and He has…each year! Should I home school him or should I put him in school with an IEP? This personal issue is neither political nor is it ego centric. I must do what’s best for my son, even through my own doubts and concerns. I know the Spirit will lead us to where He wants my boy. This year I felt pretty sure I knew the direction we’d take, even before I gave it to God. Pretty conceited on my part! But the ironic thing, or maybe NOT so ironic, is that when I DID finally give this decision over to God, He made me feel uncomfortable in my own decision. I felt uneasy, like never before. While I couldn’t put my finger on WHY, I knew He wanted me to go the OTHER way. Once I discussed this with my husband, and we decided to follow how the Holy Spirit was leading, we THEN received a perfect validation from an outside source. My own faith had to be put into action before God allowed us to see the proof that we were making the right decision.
Hearing the Holy Spirit
Do you sometimes struggle with wondering if the Holy Spirit is talking to you? How are we supposed to know the guidance which we are receiving is not just our own egos talking to us?
One of the best litmus tests is The Word of God. (2 Timothy 3:16-17) “Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness.That the man of God may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work.”
We can not be acting in accordance to the Holy Spirit if we feel we should go against anything in God’s Word.
He may be The Comforter, but His guidance in our call to action may challenge our personal comfort zones! In the past when I have prayed for guidance, I find the Holy Spirit answers in a way that goes way beyond my comfortable limits. He stretches my faith, and in doing so He allows my character to grow.
Many times His guidance does not merely restate thoughts you’ve already had on a specific matter. What is told to us seems out of the blue, but always on a deeper level than we’ve thought about it. His guidance comes from a much deeper perspective. You may find yourself saying, “Why didn’t I think of that before?”
We must have patience. Sometime we don’t get the answers we want immediately. It is in this waiting that we can find comfort in God’s Word, and in knowing that He does in fact hear our prayers. Waiting on the Lord for His perfect time to answer us. (Psalm 40:1) “I waited patiently for Jehovah; And he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”
As one who has decided to accept the grace of Salvation, repent from sin, and become a new creation in Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in you, strengthens you, guides you, teaches you and moves in you! Pray to be able to continuously discern His working in your lives.
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on Talking Like A Girl.
How to Talk to Our Kids About Wanting to be “Cool”
Every adult remembers the cliques we had in high school. The intellectuals, the jocks, the comedians, the drama kids, and of course the cool kids. 1985’s The Breakfast Club was a truly accurate account about how social circles used to be in high school, long before there was an internet, Facebook, Twitter, Ipods or smart phones. But technology aside, some things unfortunately haven’t changed: the desire to be one of the cool kids. The cool kids still wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, and are invited to the right parties. Everyone looks up to them, because they’re cool. It’s cool to be cool. Ask any kid over 10!
While I’ve written on the topic of bullying, and the painful isolation that it causes, there is another form of isolating fear that strikes our kids at a much younger age nowadays. It’s their very typical desire to fit in with others and ultimately be part of the “in” crowd. The fear comes from the possibility of not fitting in or being different than what the world classifies as “cool”.
What does “cool” mean, anyway? I had to think about this. Being cool may be an incredulous need for attention. Its pay off is the instant gratification around every corner–every day–by everybody. But I still don’t think that’s the heart of the beast. No, I think being cool is actually rebellion in its purest state. It flies under the rebellion radar much of the time, because cool kids are even liked by those who in authority over them–(maybe because these adults still long to be cool themselves? Who knows.) We know that cool exists to “exclude” rather than “include”. Cool is therefore shallow. It can be a contradiction to what we know is true, which is that God created us to be in relationship with one another.
But what does God think about being cool? To be honest, God really makes a big deal out of wanting us to love one another and be kind to each other. He never specifies to love or be kind to “just a few”. Nope, He is inclusive in His command.
God wants to be the MOST important thing in your life. That means that your own popularity, or desire to be cool should be nowhere near as important as making sure that God is #1 in your life! If He isn’t, then you may need to re-evaluate your priorities. Exodus 20:5 “I am a jealous God.” Putting that much time and energy into being cool, takes time away from building our relationship with God. And that’s NOT cool! God made each of us exactly like He wanted. We are His masterpieces!!
I’d like to say that this is purely an adolescent problem. I’d like to say that we adults simply outgrow the need to be seen as “cool”. But in reality many of us also fight the desire to be accepted by society, which means we must adhere to a set of standards that may not be synonymous with the truth of God’s Word. Sometimes being able to reach the heart of our kids takes some intense prayer and the healing of our own wounds first. We need to ask God to help fix that brokenness in ourselves, so we can more effectively talk to our kids about this topic.
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts onTalking Like A Girl.
Why We Can’t Wait to Talk to Our Kids About Purity
Truth be told, I was planning on writing something warm and encouraging today about the end of the school year. But then I woke up to the the news that the FDA has now approved “Plan B”, or “The Morning After Pill”, for use by kids as young as 15 years old, without parental consent. As the parent of a teenager, I am extremely concerned. This unraveling of morality starts way before the teenage years, and it’s vitally important that we get a handle on our role as parents before our kids are faced with the very adult decisions of dating and sex.
When our little ones are in grade school, the furthest thing from our minds is their sexual morality. Boys still have cooties and girls are too bossy. I love this age of innocence! We purchase their clothing, decide what they are allowed to watch on TV, or what games they can play. We know who their friends are. There is little in their world which we don’t control. These are the years when we start to teach them what it means to have a Biblical world view. Going to church with the family, Sunday school, and Christian groups like Awana help us teach them the lessons about loving our neighbors, forgiving others, and becoming the hands and feet of Jesus to the world around them. Important life lessons, for sure! But sex and purity are those tough topics that our kids need to hear about first, from us. Those topics can be pretty intimidating to teach!
“The Talk” used to consist of a very biological discussion about how all the pertinent body parts fit together in God’s ultimate plan of love-giving and life-making. Sounds good, right? The thing is, that whole concept probably gave some adults a bit of a panic. Understandably. Inevitably it’s at that part of “the talk” when our kids put two and two together, realizing that mom and dad even do (or at least have done) those things. Parents then finish this somewhat awkward discussion by telling the kids how beautiful sex is, and that it’s a gift from God….FOR MARRIED PEOPLE ONLY. I think it’s safe to assume most of us have (or will) emphasize that last fact, hoping that those words hang in the air, in some sort of perpetual thought bubble until our kids are actually married, themselves.
Unfortunately, they will undoubtedly face challenges to the Biblical morality which we have so fervently taught them. Love or LUV? While it’s perhaps a many-splendored thing, it’s also a fleeting emotion, based a lot on hormones in those who are young. It’s tricky because we know what the world tells us about love – sex and love are synonymous. If you have one then you are in the other, or visa versa. It’s a trap which we must…MUST, MUST, MUST prepare our kids for.
As great as my parents were, and okay, yeah, you can add Catholic and Hispanic guilt to that mix… I was still tricked by the world around me into thinking that my parents were “old fashioned” and “out of touch” on the issues of sex and love. I was NOT taught that sex is a gift. In fact, I was taught that sex was just something that married people did, but if it was done before marriage it was a sin. I remember not being sure why sex was so mysteriously naughty one minute, but after a church ceremony it was okay with everyone, including God. Here’s the kicker–guilt actually saved me many times! That’s not necessarily the correct way to approach this topic, granted. But, for me that’s what worked. Okay, guilt and a heavy dose of fear that my dad would kill me (metaphorically of course, but still…).
We should probably continue teaching our kids what God says about purity, sex, and marriage. Making it clear that in God’s plan of marriage, everything physical does work out beautifully, but that there is also a spiritual side to this action. That sex isn’t like what the movies says it is. It isn’t like what the kids talk about at school, either. It’s a lot more wonderful, because it is something that God made our bodies minds and spirits to do with the one who He’s already chosen for us. Those feelings we get when we’re in our teens when a pretty girl or cute boy walks into the room are normal feelings. Our bodies are working correctly, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. But God does lay out a plan about how He wants us to use sex and when He wants us to celebrate this gift and with whom He wants us to wait to use it with.
So, mom and dad, what does the Bible say about sex? What can we start teaching our kids, in age appropriate increments, so they don’t become victims of the world’s hedonistic ideas of this very beautiful gift?
Let’s start at the beginning. In Genesis we get a wonderful example of God’s plan of marriage and sex. (Genesis 2:24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Here are some other verses we can share with our kids on the topic of sex, marriage, immorality and…waiting:
(1 Corinthians 7:2-3) But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. 3 A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband.
(1 Corinthians 6:18) Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin a person commits is outside of the body”—but the immoral person sins against his own body
(Hebrews 13:4) Marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.
(Titus 1:15) All is pure to those who are pure. But to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their minds and consciences are corrupted.
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) For this is God’s will: that you become holy, that you keep away from sexual immorality, 4 that each of you know how to possess his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God.
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on Talking Like A Girl.
How to Talk to Our Kids About Doubt and Being Angry–At God
Confession time. I didn’t go to church this past Sunday. I told my husband I wasn’t feeling good, and while that wasn’t a lie, the reason I wasn’t feeling good was because I was mad at God.
While being transparent about personal struggles of faith and obedience has never been difficult. Today I’d like to simply say that I have been going through a challenge with one of my children, which was causing me to feel angry that I had to go through this personal pain. I felt like God had either not heard my prayers or that He was testing me. Not feeling up to the test, and certainly not feeling that what was being handed to me was “fair”, I also grew resentful of others in my circle of friends who didn’t have the challenges with their kids like I had.
Truly, I was just an ugly mess of anger, depression and self pity. I went back to bed and pulled the covers over my head and wept. It was in that moment I truly felt like a child who was in need of a parent’s wisdom, love and compassion. But at the same time, not having anyone else to project my anger towards, I became angry at God, my Heavenly Father.
My internal voice probably sounds familiar to most of you, “I’m not strong enough to deal with this!”
Yes, I was angry and hurt and I sincerely doubted God’s plan in all of this pain. I didn’t feel like I could handle anymore. I didn’t feel strong enough…or wise enough. It wasn’t fair!
I laid in bed for awhile. Not really praying, but eyes closed and just being still. In the minutes that followed I felt a sense of peace come over me. I had gotten out the pain that I had been holding deeply in my heart, and finally it was out there for me and God to deal with. Maybe that’s one reason that prayer is so necessary to our relationship with God. He obviously knows what’s in the very depths of our hearts, but when we struggle to bring those things out, they become areas where healing can then take place.
There was a healing that took place that morning. It wasn’t obvious to anyone else but me. I had what amounted to an adult tantrum in front of God’s holy throne. And instead of Him striking me down with lightning, which I know He could have easily done, both physically and metaphorically, I felt embraced. All of a sudden I felt as though my thoughts became clearer and there was empathy, compassion and love. A renewed strength came over me, and I was reminded that God has faith in me– way more faith than I have in myself.
Wait. God has faith in ME?
One of my favorite Bible stories is that of Gideon. It’s a perfect example of how the Lord used a regular guy to do amazing things! When Gideon doubted God, God didn’t give up on him. He stood beside him and He stood firm in His plan to deliver Israel. But Gideon had to wrestle with that supernatural idea that out of everyone else available to help deliver Israel, God chose him!
(Judges 6:11-16) Now the angel of the Lord came and sat under the terebinth at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.” And Gideon said to him, “Please, sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.” And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.”
When we see our own kids struggling with personal issues which they perceive to be too big to handle, or if they ever feel their prayers are not being heard, and these things are causing them doubt and anger towards God, it’s a good time to share with them that we all struggle with the same types of doubt, fear and anger. Mostly because we don’t have faith that God will give us what it takes to get through a particular situation. Remind them that while we are to have faith in God, God also has faith in us, and like Gideon who doubted God’s plan because he knew his own limitations, God has no limitations. He will provide what we need to get through whatever it is we face.
Have you ever felt abandoned by God? How did you get back from those moments of doubt and frustration?
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on Talking Like A Girl.
How To Talk To Our Kids About Compassion
Compassion seems like a character trait that should come relatively easy for a Christ follower. I mean, we are the church. Our purpose is to spread the Good News and take care of others, specifically those who are in need. But over the last week many of us, some who call themselves Christ followers, have lacked compassion. Some have used their public voice in social media or personal blogs to tell the world (or their world) that bad things happen to those who deserve it.
Parents, we are the living example to our kids of how to treat others. We teach them the Golden Rule, and then forget to use the same guideline in talking about others. Why? Because we do it in Jesus’ name? Or maybe it really isn’t unkind if it’s just a harmless post on Facebook or Twitter, or something carelessly spoken over the phone or at the dinner table? The thing is, we can’t rightfully expect our kids to, “Do as I say not as I do.” They will undoubtedly learn that it’s okay to pass judgement on a person and speak unkind things about those who may not share our own politics, theology or philosophies.
Compassion is synonymous with pity, mercy, concern, and sympathy. It doesn’t base itself on vindication or punishment due to someone who is suffering. Instead, it stands alone as true empathy for those who are suffering or broken-hearted. We can disagree with someone, but compassion for that person can and should still be present if they are dealing with misfortune.
If we let our kids see and hear our compassion for others, they too will have a better chance at growing into a compassionate adult. One who prays for those suffering and the broken-hearted, no matter who they are.
We ALL fall from the righteousness of God. His grace is abundant, yet so undeserved. If we remember to treat others with love and compassion, we are truly acting like followers of Christ. We are then teaching our kids to treat others the way they would also want to be treated…no matter what.
What does God’s Word say about compassion? Why should I care about those who are so different from me, anyway?
Psalm 78:38-39 Yet he, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them, he restrained his anger often and did not stir up all his wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Matthew 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Romans 2:1-2 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. 2 We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things.
Fasting From Gossip
Creative Commons License Karin Vlietstra via Compfight
There’s been a lot of talk lately about fasting and giving up something during this season of Lent. My good friend, Kathy Lonsinger, who runs the wonderful online ministry A Gentle Answer, recently posed a suggestion for all of us. She asked that we fast from gossip and quick judgmental condemnation, loosely veiled behind a smile and calling it a prayer request.
We are part of a culture that prides itself on being righteous–or right with God. But in our quest for righteousness, we sometimes become a little too self righteous. We can sometimes unfairly judge others who we know very little about, based on one or two things that we SEE or HEAR.
As the mother of a special needs child, I can tell you that unfair judgements have followed me for the last ten years. In the early years I was labeled a bad mom, because I didn’t discipline my son who outwardly appeared to be rude and simply out of control. He wouldn’t verbally respond to adults, even adults in our own family. They’d ask, “How old are you?” or “What school do you go to?” His usual response was to repeat their question back to them and not answer. Adults found that sarcastic. Many times he’d simply walk away when an adult was speaking to him, as though he was ignoring them all together. How rude!! He’d run around like a Tasmanian Devil, getting into everything…touching everything… and I’d generally be right behind him, apologizing as I put things back in place.
My son has a diagnosis which explains all of these behaviors. We have never led with his diagnosis, because it shouldn’t define him. But I felt my ears burning at each and every family event. Either my husband and I were being chastised for not sparing the rod, or for hovering over him too much, not allowing him to be a normal kid.
No one took the time to actually ask if they could help us. We couldn’t win! In their eyes and through their words we were guilty of being bad parents and doing everything wrong.
Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Have you ever passed a quick judgement on a sister or brother in Christ, without knowing the whole story? Even after what I’ve just written about my own son, I too have passed quick judgements on others whose story I know very little about. We stay at home moms may do this when we speak negatively about those moms who choose to work outside the home and who are, “putting career ahead of parenting”. Working moms may loosely judge our “lack of ambition” and “self denial that will one day come back to hurt us”.
There is real danger in the gossip we spread about others. The kicker is when we Christians talk about others’ actions or words, and then pretend it’s not really gossip, because we end with, “ we should pray for them…”
Nope, it’s still gossip.
Romans 16:17-18 “I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
During this season of reflection, maybe we can ALL do what Kathy suggested: fast from idle gossip and quick judgement. Watch our loose tongues. Take our thoughts captive. Take a deeper look at what the Bible says to us about treating others with kindness and love. Perhaps actually step forward and OFFER HELP to someone who seems to be struggling, instead of rolling our eyes, shaking our head or texting a friend with the words, “You won’t believe what I just heard / saw…”
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com
Praying For Protection Over Our Children
Josh Kenzer via Compfight
The world can be an evil place; a scary place; a dangerous place. When it comes to thinking about the safety of our children in this world, our minds instantly turn to the recent massacre in Sandy Hook, CT, where so many innocent children lost their lives in school, a place where we assume our children are going to be safe from all harm. How many of us heard the news that day, filled with such anguish and empathy towards those hurting parents, and immediately sought out our own kids– to hold, maybe just a little tighter than usual?
While the weeks that have followed this tragedy have become heated politically, we parents are still left with the responsibility to see to it that our children are protected whenever they are not in our sight. We have made sure all the necessary precautions are in place at school (or church or whatever club that takes them out of our care for periods of time). The safety specialists have been brought in, and procedures have been changed to ensure tighter safety measures are being followed to protect our kids. But can we do more?
Each morning as I drop off my children at their schools, I sit in my car and pray for God’s blessing of protection on them throughout the day. In Jesus’ name I cover them both with supernatural, angelic protection, and in His name I also bind Satan and all his evil from touching them. Lately, I’ve also prayed that huge angels stand at the corners of the school buildings, guarding all the children from any harm that may try to enter. Someone who doesn’t believe in angels much less in the power of prayer may think me a little cuckoo, I guess. But I know how big my God is, and that He is faithful to all He has promised.
I recently found out that Jehovah-Nissi, God’s name in Hebrew, literally means “One who delivers, preserves, shelters, covers and watches over us”! God really is the Great Protector! Parents, we must call on God for His protection over our children.
The question you may have is, does God protect us in EVERY situation? If so, then why did Sandy Hook happen? Why does tragedy happen at all? That’s a fair question. While I’m far from a Bible scholar, my best answer would be, living in a world where God has given us free will, we end up making choices that can contribute to personal hardships, pain, and loss. Remember, Jesus said this would happen in our lives. Life on Earth is not perfect. Even though we do have free will to make our own choices, we must remember that God’s will for us does remain perfect.
Pray often. Take your thoughts and actions captive. Stay in God’s Word. Remember God is faithful, even when are not.
Here are some Scriptural references that will help you in covering your children in prayers of protection:
Genesis 28:15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.
Psalm 18: 2,3 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 91: 1,2, 10 -12 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble,you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.
Isaiah 43:1-3 But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com
Celebrating Love and Marriage
Daniel Lee via Compfight
Love. Probably the most over used and misunderstood used word in the English language. Personally, I have used the word “love” when talking about my husband and my kids and also the great dinner I had last week, and the book that I just can’t put down! So in the words of Tina Turner, “what’s love got to do with it?”
What is love…?
Is love an emotion, a by-product of a physical attraction, or a learned behavior? Can a person really “fall into” love? Is there such a thing as love at first sight? And most importantly, what does God’s Word teach us about love in marriage? And how can we model that love in our marriages so that our children come to respect real love?
When we look at the word “love” as interpreted in the Greek translations, there are three types of love:
EROS- or romantic love. This is where we get the word, “erotic”. It’s soft, fluffy and what most cheesy love songs are written about. Many people associate true love with this passionate, romantic, somewhat self-centered, intoxicating feeling. It’s probably how most of us begin a relationship. It’s that almost magnetic attraction we have to another person. It’s a wonderful feeling, but it can just as easily wane when whatever initially attracted us to that individual isn’t there any longer. Think of the terms “falling in” and “fall out” of love. Not quite true love, and not necessarily synonymous with the Biblical kind of love. Eros, while widely understood in our society as “love”, is not found in Scripture.
PHILEO- or friendship love. This is where we get the words, “philanthropy”– love of mankind, “philosophy”–love of wisdom. When translated the word, like eros, is about feelings. When we think about phileo we think about companionship and togetherness. Two components that are actually referred to in Scripture. (Genesis 2:18) “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Ephesians 5:31) “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” These passages make it clear that couples in marriage need to make time for one another and be close to each other, sharing not only physical closeness but intimacy on a spiritual and psychological level, as well. This is a really important part of married love… but we can’t stop here. God has even a bigger blessing for married couples.
AGAPE- or sacrificial love. Ok, honestly, this sounds pretty unromantic! And let’s face it, society has pretty much summed up what love is all about, and for most of us the idea of “sacrificial” doesn’t necessarily come to mind when we’re busy thinking about cards, candy and roses on Valentine’s Day! But, God thinks so much BIGGER than we do! This word for love is not used until the New Testament, and the coming of the Holy Spirit. This is the love God has saved for His chosen–us!! He does not love us because he is attracted to us. We are sinners who are so very unattractive! This love isn’t just a passive feeling. This love is an action which He decides to do, or an act of His will.
Some words used to describe agape love are: commitment, giving, and self-sacrifice. Paul gives us a perfect example of how we are to love. And notice these are actions not feelings. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Next week we celebrate Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating love, whether you take the time to do something special for your loved one on February 14 or choose another day to purposely celebrate your love.
For those of us who are married, and who view our commitment to our spouse in a Biblical way, we may want to take the time this coming week to really look deeper into how we “love”. Are we committed for the long haul, like we stated in our vows? Whether we are rich or poor? In good times and in bad? In sickness and health? Will we remain faithful to our spouse, forsaking all others, even abandoning those very private, lustful thoughts we may have of someone else? Will we put our spouse’s needs before ours?
Take time to DO SOMETHING for your spouse, and expect nothing in return. Love, as taught in the New Testament through the Holy Spirit, is an action. Be kind, speak lovingly, and pray daily for that person who you are in a life-time covenant with. Love really is a gift from God!
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com
How to Nurture Our Spirits as Parents
Panier “bio” jalb via Compfight
Despite how busy or tired I may be, each day I try my hardest to look my best. If you were to walk into my bathroom and look at my vanity area (accurately named, by the way) you’d see jars of nourishing face and body creams, hair products, assorted perfumes, and a drawer which is full of make-up products. My refrigerator is full of locally grown fruits and veggies, organic dairy products and fresh meats. I cook most of our meals because eating healthy is important to me. All of these little things are what I do to nourish my physical body.
Our spiritual bodies require just as much time, effort and nourishment as do our physical bodies. In fact, the Bible makes it rather clear that our spiritual selves need to be our priority! We must spend time nurturing our spirit. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
What does nurturing my spirit mean?
For me, this means drawing closer to God by building my relationship with Him. It’s all very personal, and we are all at different phases of that relationship process. For those of us who grew up in the church, this idea of relationship is one we’ve heard and probably worked on for years. But for others, who are new to the Christian faith, building a relationship with a loving God may still seem like a really difficult task, because, let’s face it, it can be embarrassing to feel like you don’t have the same knowledge about God as the other women in your Bible study! The enemy tells us we can’t have a real relationship with someone we know so little about! But remember that God desires us to constantly pursue Him, and grow in faith as we grow in our relationship with Him.
One way to grow in our knowledge of God is to better know the Bible. As a parent we can share this time of learning with our children! I remember when my husband was new to the faith, and we’d put on the VeggieTales video about Josh and the Big Wall. That was his first time hearing the story of Joshua. Hearing this story told in words that a five year old could understand is sometimes the perfect catalyst needed for a 30 year old’s inspiration to learn more about God’s Word! Today we have the wonderfully understandable What’s in the Bible? series that covers each book of the Bible. What a perfect way to learn what’s in God’s Word along with our children! Growing in our knowledge about God, His love for each of us, and His plan to make sure each of us spends eternity with Him. That’s building a relationship. That’s what’s called nurturing our spirit!
Lisa Strnad is a weekly contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She has been a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com
God Heals Our Broken Hearts
Returning home this morning after running errands, all I could think about was holding my boys. I held on to them tightly, and I told them how much I loved them! Just moments before, I had been driving home and had heard the breaking news report about what had happened in Connecticut; A gunman had entered an elementary school and opened fire! They suspected 26 people had been slaughtered, 18 of those were kindergartners!
Where do we find reason in an act which reeks of pure evil? How can we make sense of something so senseless? My mind reels… and then I pray. I pray for those whose lives will forever be changed by this tragedy. Like many of you, I put myself in the shoes of those parents who are trying to cope with the fact that the little one who they dropped off at school this morning, is now gone.
Faith is so easy when life is going along smoothly. It’s in these type of days that our faith is tested; that we are surely tempted to ask God, “Why?!” And when there are no audible answers we must turn to God’s Word, and let Him speak to our broken hearts through the Scriptures, allowing His Holy Spirit minister to us through His living Word.
Psalm 34:18-20 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
While this incident will surely raise political discussions on both sides of the aisle, perhaps today we should instead come together as brothers and sisters, and pray for the heartbreak of this community; for the heartbreak that has spilled into every heart in our country. While the enemy is surely enjoying the pain that these actions have caused manly families, even in our sadness we still must cling to the truth. Jesus has these little ones in his arms. He has won victory over the grave! And yes, while it is a day of overwhelming sadness, our God is bigger than any heartbreak. If called upon, He will see all of these families through this most difficult situation.
Pray for our country, tonight. Pray for healing in the hearts of this Connecticut community. Pray for peace and healing for the families who are personally affected by this tragedy. And yes,…hug your kids a little tighter tonight.
Lisa Strnad is a contributing writer/blogger to What’s in the Bible? and Jelly Telly. She is a homeschooling mom of two, who works independently in Christian media in the areas of writing, promotions and marketing. She lives with her husband and children in Nashville,TN. Follow her personal blog posts on www.talkinglikeagirl.blogspot.com
