Esther Song

Cap’n Pete

Oh – you could go to college
You could take a whole semester
And never find a person who was half as brave as Esther
Beautiful and kindly – it was clear that God had blessed her
Read about her in the Bible in the book of Esther!

Xerxes was the Persian king who took some bad advice
Haman didn’t like the Jews – he wasn’t very nice
Picked a day to kill them all by rollin’ out some dice
But Esther’s got your number – Throwin’ dinner parties TWICE!

Watch out Haman
Kids will blot your name and
In the end you’re gonna die
The way you planned for Mordecai!

That’s our Esther!
Trials gonna test her!
But God is there to see you through
And He will save your people, too!
And the rescue plan goes on and on
And the rescue plan goes on!

 The Historical Books

Nehemiah Rebuilds Jerusalem’s City Walls

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
Well, another Israelite who had been to Jerusalem told Nehemiah that the walls were in terrible shape! The Israelites been back for almost 90 years and no one had gotten around to fixing the walls! So Nehemiah decided to do something about it. He went to King Artexerxes and asked for permission to go back to Jerusalem. He even asked the king for all the supplies he would need to rebuild the walls!

CLIVE
That was pretty bold!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
It was! King Arterxerxes could have been upset! He could have been suspicious! He could have said, No way, Jose – I need you here keeping me safe!” But the Bible says God moved in Arterxerxes’ heart, and he smiled on Nehemiah and gave him everything he asked for!

BUCK
Wow! So Nehemiah went back to Jerusalem and rebuilt the walls! Did those pesky neighbors mind?

BROTHER LOUIE
You bet they did! They didn’t want Jerusalem to be strong again, and strong walls make strong cities!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
His neighbors sent Nehemiah threatening letters, trying to get him to stop. But Nehemiah kept working! So they started gathering soldiers to attack Jerusalem and stop the work! But Nehemiah heard about the plan, and stationed guards all around the workers to protect them! He had the workers keep their swords with them all the time, and they had trumpets to blow if anyone saw an enemy coming! Nehemiah asked God to give them strength to finish the huge job, and before their neighbors could do anything about it, Jerusalem’s walls were done!

The Story of Esther

CHESTER WHIGGET
And now – through the magic of popsicle stick puppetry… I bring you… the STORY of ESTHER! So here was Xerxes! Ill-tempered! Takes bad advice! Not the best king! He’s having a big-a party with his friends and the leaders of his giant army! Whee! What fun! He has a wife – He probably had a lot of wives, but there was one in particular named Vashti – Queen Vashti – who was VERY beautiful! Xerxes and his friends had been drinking a lot -

BUCK
Oooh – too much coffee?

CHESTER WHIGGET
Something like that. So Xerxes said, “Hey Vashti! Come out and show everyone how beautiful you are!” Well, Vashti didn’t feel like it. So she said something that no one EVER said to Xerxes…

IAN
“Would you hold my iguana?” Cut to stage.

CHESTER WHIGGET
Uh, no, that’s-a not what she said.

CLIVE
Where did THAT come from?

IAN
I figured ever said that was something no one to Xerxes.

CHESTER WHIGGET
Well-a you’re probably right, but-a that’s not-a what she said. She said, “No.” She wouldn’t come out.

BUCK
Oh dear! I can’t imagine Xerxes liked that! What with his temper…

CHESTER WHIGGET
No, he didn’t! So he THREW Queen Vashti out of the palace (throw puppet) And said, “You are not my queen any more! Goodbye!” Then his friends said, “You need a NEW queen! One that is even MORE beautifuler!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
“Beautifuler?”

CHESTER WHIGGET
I told you they had been drinking… too much coffee. So messengers were-a sent out, looking for the most-a beautiful girls in-a Persia! And-a one of the girls they found, was-a Esther!!

IAN
Esther!! She’s the one this book is about!!

CLIVE
Uh, yes, Ian. Well done.

Old Testament, New Testament Song

BUCK
So where are we in the Bible?!?

CLIVE
The Bible has two BIG sections – called “Testaments.” The “Old Testament,” and the “New Testament.” Oh my…

IAN
He got it lit!

CAP’N PETE
Say that again!

CLIVE
The Bible has two big sections – the Old Testament and the New Testament.

CAP’N PETE
ONE testament, TWO testament OLD Testament, NEW Testament

CLIVE
Yes… right. We’re in the Old Testament!

IAN
No we aren’t – we’re in our biplane!

CLIVE
Uh – yes, we’re in our biplane. But in the SHOW we’re talking about the Old Testament.

IAN
Oh. Right. I see what you’re saying. Go on.

CLIVE
The Old Testament is divided into SECTIONS. The first section was the Pentateuch. The section we’re in now is the Historical Books.

CAP’N PETE
Pentateuch! Pentateuch! Then come the Historical Books! Pentateuch! Pentateuch! Then come the Historical Books!

IAN
Hey – it’s kinda like a ‘round’! I wanna sing, too!

CLIVE
Um… all right… I’ll just… keep going. Now we’re up to the last three Historical Books. The first two are small books that go together – Ezra, and Nehemiah! And no, you don’t need to sing about those yet.

IAN
Oh, but we’re having so much fun!!

CAP’N PETE
Uh oh – my rocket’s done!

CLIVE
I hope he remembered that parachute…

CAP’N PETE
Where’d I put that parachute?!?

IAN
ONE parachute, TWO parachute Cap’n Pete needs a NEW parachute!

CLIVE
That’s enough of that!

What is Christmas all about? Wondering what are the origins of Christmas trees? Who is Santa Claus? Who is Immanuel? Check out this fun new family Christmas DVD from VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer.

You’ll learn what Christmas is all about. The DVD teaches the history of Santa Claus, the history of Christmas trees, and what is Hanukkah. Discover new meanings to your favorite Christmas traditions with Buck Denver and his friends.

What is Hanukkah?

Sunday School Lady
Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday, celebrating something that happened in Jerusalem in between the Old Testament and the New Testament.

Marcy
What happened?

Sunday School Lady
Well, about 200 years before Jesus was born, Israel was controlled by the Seleucid Empire.

Buck Denver
Empires are bad, right? Like in Star Wars?

Sunday School Lady
It depends on who’s in charge. Things got very bad for the Jews, though, when Antiochus IV Epiphanes became king.

Buck Denver
That’s quite a name.

Sunday School Lady
Yes it is.

Buck Denver
I wish my name was “Buckius Eleven Denveronius.”

Sunday School Lady
Let’s stay focused.

Buck Denver
Sorry.

Sunday School Lady
Antiochus didn’t like the Jews at all, so he banned their religion! He said they couldn’t go to the Temple or worship God!

Marcy
That’s terrible!

Sunday School Lady
To make it even worse, he sacrificed a pig on the altar – which was against God’s rules – then put a statue of Zeus in the Temple and told the Jews to pray to that!

Buck Denver
What?!? Zeus is a made-up god!

Sunday School Lady
I know! The Jews were so upset that five brothers led a rebellion against Antiochus! They were called the Maccabees.

Marcy
Once my dad was stung by a pack of bees.

Sunday School Lady
No, not “pack of bees,” Maccabees. The Maccabees actually beat Antiochus’s army and pushed them out of Jerusalem! Then they got rid of the statue of Zeus and spent 8 days cleaning the temple and rededicating it to the true God!

Buck Denver
That’s amazing!

Sunday School Lady
So every year Jews all over the world remember the 8 day rededication of the Temple by celebrating the 8 days of Hanukkah! Why even Jesus celebrated Hanukkah!

Buck Denver
Wait – what?

Sunday School Lady
It’s true! John 10:22 says, “Now it was the Feast of Dedication in Jerusalem, it was winter, and Jesus walked in the temple, in Solomon’s porch.” The “Feast of Dedication” is now called Hanukkah!

Who Is Emmanuel?

Pastor Paul
O Come, O Come Emmanuel
To ransom captive Israel …

Ian
What’s it mean, anyway? “Emmanuel?”

Brother Louie
“Emmanuel” means “God with us!”

Chuck Waggin
Which he most certainly is not

Ian
Why do ya say that?

Chuck Waggin
Well, look at the day we’ve had! My truck broke down – then those ladies were rude to us – then you guys come along, what happens? Your sleigh breaks! Cuz of a rabbit! Where’s “God with us” in all that?

Brother Louie
I think you’re missin’ the point, Chuck Waggin.

Chuck Waggin
Well what’s it mean, then?

Brother Louie
It means the ultimate bad thing will never happen to you!

Ian
The what?

Clive
He’s right! “Emmanuel is one of the names for Jesus – Jesus is “God with us.” This is the most important bit of Christmas! This is what Christmas is all about!

Ian
Oh come on! I’ve heard that a million times! “Giving! What Christmas is all about!” “Family! What Christmas is all about!” “Gettin’ a great deal on a new TV! What Christmas is all about!”

Clive
No – listen. The world says the “real meaning” of Christmas is all sorts of things – shopping, family, big sales on TVs and refrigerators. But we know it’s Jesus, right? That’s why it’s called “Christmas!”

Buck Denver Asks Why Do We Call It Christmas?
Jellyfish Labs 2011
From VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer

The True Meaning of Christmas

Chester Whigget
And now, through the magic of popsicle stick puppetry, I present … The Upside Down Kingdom! “In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.”

Chuck Waggin
Wait – this sounds kinda familiar.

Brother Louie
It sure does. Let’s see where he’s goin’ with it.

Ian
Um – who is Caesar, and what’s a “census”?

Chester Whigget
Caesar – he was the king of everything. A real big shot.

Brother Louie
And a census is when you count everybody to see how many people ya got!

Chester Whigget
That’s a-right. “Everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph – that’s this guy – went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.”

Ian
You mean KING David? Israel’s best king EVER?

Chester Whigget
Yah, that’s the one.

Ian
Is King David gonna turn upside down?

Chester Whigget
I’m not done yet! “Joseph went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.” This is Mary. She’s got a big tummy, cuz she’s gonna have a baby! Anyway … “While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son.” Here he is! Isn’t he cute? Ahem. “She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

Ian
They put him in a WHAT?

Clive
A manger. It’s a feeding trough for animals!

Ian
Why would they put him in a feeding trough?

Clive
Because he was born in a BARN!

Chuck Waggin
My grandaddy was born in a barn.

Brother Louie
You don’t say?

Chuck Waggin
First thing he saw was a horse. Thought it was his mother until he was five years old.

Why Does Santa Claus Wear a Red Suit?

Cap’n Pete
See if you can answer this one, Mr. Smarty-Monkey! Why is Santa always wearing a red suit lined with white fur?

Monkey
Oh yes, I know that one too.

Clive
You see, St. Nicholas was a bishop in the church – that means he was the leader of ALL the churches in his area. Bishops wore red robes and red hats. St. Nicholas was most popular in Northern Europe, where it was very cold on St. Nicholas Day. So pictures of St. Nicholas visiting Northern Europe on December 6th show him wearing a red robe and hat, all lined with white fur to keep him warm while he delivers his presents to kids!

Monkey
That’s why Santa is always wearing a red suit with white fur!

Cap’n Pete
Well you just know everything don’t ya? What? Why’d we stop?

Monkey
This next part is going to be tricky.

The History of the Christmas Tree

Sunday School Lady:
The tradition of the Christmas tree comes from northern Germany, where, for thousands of years, tribes decorated with tree branches, and, before they knew about Jesus, even linked certain trees to make-believe gods!

Buck:
Wait – make-believe gods?

Sunday School Lady:
Yep. One giant oak tree was called “The Oak of Thor.” If anyone cut it down, they believed, the god Thor would strike them dead!

Buck:
Goodness gracious! Then what happened?

Sunday School Lady:
Well, a Christian named Boniface came to northern Germany to tell them about Jesus. They said, “We don’t believe in Jesus, we believe in Thor! Look! Here’s his tree!” Boniface had to find a way to show them Thor wasn’t real. So guess what he did?

Marcy:
I think I know!

Sunday School Lady:
He picked up an axe and chopped down the tree!

Buck:
What happened?

Sunday School Lady:
Nothing. So everyone realized Thor was fake and started believing in Jesus instead!

Marcy:
That’s amazing! But, um, where do Christmas trees come in?

Sunday School Lady:
Well, according to the story, Boniface then pointed to a small fir tree that was growing right next to Thor’s oak tree and said, “This will be your new symbol. You use this tree to build your homes – let Christ be at the center of your households. It’s leaves remain evergreen in the darkest days – let Christ be your constant light. It’s branches reach out to embrace and its top points to heaven – let Christ be your Comfort and Guide.”

From Buck Denver Asks Why Do We Call It Christmas?
Jellyfish Labs 2011
Phil Vischer

From Christ’s Mass to Christmas
Chuck Waggin:
I’ve been wonderin’, Brother Louie, why do they call it “Christmas” anyway? Why not call it “Jesus’ birthday day??”

Brother Louie:
That’s a good question, Chuck Waggin! Do you know what “communion” is?

Chuck Waggin:
Uh – do you mean when they serve bread and grape juice in church? Let me picture it … Yeah! That?

Brother Louie:
That’s it! It’s a way to remember Jesus and the Last Supper!

Chuck Waggin:
That’s why they call it Christmas?

Brother Louie:
I’m not done. Some churches call that “communion” – other churches call it the “Eucharist” – a word that means “to give thanks.” The celebration of the Eucharist is called a “mass” in those churches.

Chuck Waggin:
Where does Christmas come in?

Brother Louie:
Still not done. Once a year in Europe these churches would hold a mass to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ!

Chuck Waggin:
And?

Brother Louie:
That celebration was called “Christ’s Mass!”

Chuck Waggin:
“Christ’s Mass?” Christmas! That’s why we call it Christmas!

Brother Louie:
Exactly!

Chuck Waggin:
Let me see if I got this straight …

LYRICS:

Some churches have communion in a service called the Mass
And once a year they’d have one just for Jesus
And his birth!
And Jesus is the Christ -
Which means “the one who saves the world!”
And that very special service is the Christ’s Mass!

Behind each Christmas
There is a Christ’s Mass!
A day to celebrate when Jesus came to Earth!
Behind each Christmas
There is a Christ’s Mass!
A celebration just for Jesus and his birth!

From Buck Denver Asks Why Do We Call It Christmas?
Jellyfish Labs 2011
Phil Vischer

Lyrics:

Though my halls are decked with holly -
I’m not feeling very jolly
Far from merry or amusing
I find Christmas quite confusing!

Why is Christmas what we call it?
Why the impact on my wallet?
Why the presents? Why the tree?
What’s with Santa? Who is he?

How do meats and smelly cheeses
Celebrate the birth of Jesus?
Now perhaps I’m overthinking
When I should be eggnog-drinking
And I hate to sing the blues-
But Christmastime has me confused!

From Buck Denver Asks Why Do We Call It Christmas?
Jellyfish Labs 2011
Phil Vischer

Join VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer along with intrepid newsman Buck Denver and all his friends on an amazing journey into the world’s most popular holiday! Sure, you know the Christmas story. But do you know the story of Christmas? Check out the trailer for this brand new family Christmas DVD that explains the Christian origins of Christmas.

Don’t miss the whimsical, educational, Christmical party to end all Christmas parties as Buck Denver Asks … Why Do We Call It Christmas?

Buck Denver Asks Why Do We Call It Christmas?
Jellyfish Labs 2011
From VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer

Volume 6: A Nation Divided features scenes from the books of 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, and 2 Chronicles. Highlights include the Bentley Brothers singing about the kings of Judah, the story of Jezebel, Elijah and the 450 prophets of Baal, the prophet Elisha and the end of Israel.

What is the Trinity?

David and Saul

 
CHESTER WHIGGET
Yes, David was a hero! King a-Saul was a-so impressed that he made a- David a leader in his army! And everything David did was a big success because the Spirit of the Lord was with him! But then King Saul noticed something. The people who used to cheer for him were now cheering for a-David. The women who used to sing songs about him were now a- singing songs about a-David! And Saul became jealous. He was filled with envy and hatred. Yes, King Saul turned to the “dark side.”

BUCK
Wait, wait – what?!? Chester! That’s the guy from those space movies!

CHESTER WHIGGET
I know – but it’s similar. He was big and strong. He was good. But he became jealous and filled with hate. He turned to evil.

BUCK
Okay, as long as the kids know King Saul was a real person – not a make believe guy from a movie.

CHESTER WHIGGET
He’s just-a kid! But he’s a-good! He’s a-brave! He can a-save the galaxy – I mean Israel – from evil! And King Saul said, “The Spirit of God is very strong in this one!” And young David said, “I will a- fight you!”

BUCK
Cut! Cut! David didn’t fight King Saul! He wouldn’t!

CHESTER WHIGGET
He wouldn’t fight? Why? Was he chicken?

BUCK
No, he was very brave! But he knew that God had chosen Saul just like God had chosen David. And David would not hurt someone that God had chosen.

CLIVE

Is this the place where it turns?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
What do you mean, Clive?

CLIVE
Well, I’ve noticed in most of our
stories that things start out great
- God gives us a wonderful garden
or a land filled with milk and
honey or a kingdom and the power to
win all our battles – and then we
ignore him and mess it all up.

IAN
Now that you mention it, I’ve
noticed that too.

CHUCK WAGGIN
So does that happen to King
Solomon, too?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
Good observation, fellas! Well,
all that wealth and all that fame
can have an effect on a guy. King
Solomon spent seven years building
a house for God, then spent 13
years building an even BIGGER house
for himself!

CHUCK WAGGIN
That’s a bad sign.

BROTHER LOUIE
He even built a big palace just for
his favorite wife!!

IAN

Wait – “favorite” wife? He had more than one?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
It was common back then for kings
to show how rich they were by
having lots of wives.

IAN
How many did he have? Two?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
More than that.

IAN
Two and a half?

CLIVE
You can’t have half a wife!

IAN
Two and three quarters?

BROTHER LOUIE
He had 700! 700 wives!!

IAN
Eh – eh – ss – seven hundred?!?

CLIVE
That’s a lot of wives!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
Yep. Way more than he needed. 1st
Kings also says he had 40,000
stalls for his horses! WAY more
than he needed! And that was a
problem, because God’s law
specifically said that kings of
Israel weren’t supposed to collect
more horses than they needed! Yet
that’s exactly what Solomon was
doing!

But it gets worse…

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY
King Saul wasn’t always good at
doing what God asked him to do.
Sometimes Samuel would tell him
what God wanted him to do, and he
would do the exact opposite!

Saul was a big, strong, brave guy,
but when it came to following God -
he was a failure!

Saul said, “Look at all the
impressive things I’ve done! The
battles I’ve won! All the sheep
and cattle I’ve captured from our
enemies!” But Saul had forgotten
that God doesn’t want us to be
impressive. He wants us to be
OBEDIENT. He doesn’t want to hear
excuses, he wants us to listen to
his voice, and do what he says.

Since Saul hadn’t done that, the
crown couldn’t stay in his family.
God was going to find a new king
for Israel – a man who would do
whatever God asked, no matter what.
A “man after God’s own heart.”

CHUCK WAGGIN
(singing)
Oh, Saul, Saul, Saul!
You sure look like a king!
You’re tall, tall, tall!

With the robe and the ring!
But you’ll fall, fall, fall
Cuz you’re missin’ one thing -
You can’t serve God halfway -
To follow him you’ve got to obey!

IAN

What kind of word is “Davidic?”

PASTOR PAUL

The word “Davidic” means “about David” – or “having to do with David.”

IAN

Oh – so if something was “about Ian,” it would be “Ian-ic.”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Well…

IAN

And if it was about CLIVE, it would be “Clive-ic.” Heh heh. “Clive- ic.” That’s funny.

CLIVE

Hilarious.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

This promise for David – or “Davidic Covenant” – is SO important that in the New Testament when Matthew talks about God’s rescue plan, he puts King David right in the middle!

CAP’N PETE

(singing)

Ohhhhh – God has a rescue plan and David’s in the middle. But how he’s gonna use him – is kinda like a riddle! The books of the Old Testament – they each explain a little how God has a rescue plan and David’s in the middle!

Oh. That can’t be good.

CAP’N PETE

Can I SING now?!?

BUCK

Hmm? What?

Oh – it’s you. In a… is that a submarine?

CAP’N PETE

Yah – it’s muh pirate sub! I’ve been waitin’ down here for a chance to sing somethin’, but ya won’t stop yakkin’!

BUCK

But we haven’t said anything new, yet. We’ve been reviewing.

CAP’N PETE

Ya mentioned 1st and 2nd Samuel. I could sing about them!

BUCK

Do you KNOW anything about those?

CAP’N PETE

Sure I do! I went to Bible College! Until they discovered I was a pirate and kicked me out…

BUCK

But you’re a law-abiding pirate!

CAP’N PETE

Their policy did not make that distinction. Besides, I failed chapel.

BUCK

How could anyone fail chapel?!?

CAP’N PETE

Not the point. Fine! I’ll sing something unrelated!

Row, row, row your sub, Gently down the stream…

BUCK

All right! Sing something about 1st and 2nd Samuel!!

CAP’N PETE

Ah! I thought you’d never ask!

CAP’N PETE

(singing)

Ohhhh – Gather ‘round kids and hear me sing! All about Israel’s godly king! See what good this guy can bring. In the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel, Israel is a nasty mess! Just read Judges – and get depressed! A king could help them pass the test, In the books of 1st and 2nd Samuel! That’s the books of 1st and 2nd Sam- u-el!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I like the Bible – it’s not a fluke,

that it all starts out with the Pentateuch,

Five little books that tell the story of God

IAN

and Adam and Eve and Joseph and…

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Sometimes called “Five Books of Moses”

CLIVE

He’s the one whose life composes

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

The story line of all these books -

with the exception of Genesis!

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers

IAN

Read a little every day before you slumber

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Cap it all off with a trip through Deuteronomy!

BROTHER LOUIE

Deuteronomy! Deuteronomy!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Parts are fun – others not so much

BROTHER LOUIE

With sinnin’ and floodin’ and plagues and such

CHUCK WAGGIN’

Whether you’re German or French or Dutch

IAN

We can all learn a thing from the Penta-touch!

CLIVE

That’s not right.

CHUCK WAGGIN’

Whether you’re a king or a queen or a duke ,

EVERYONE

We can all learn a thing from the Pentateuch!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Allright! I will-a tell the story of-a Ruth!

BUCK

Oh, no – not you!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Yes a-me! Chester Whigget! Master of the popsicle stick puppet! And now, the Story of Ruth!!

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Ruth! She wasn’t an Israelite – she was from Moab, a country Israel didn’t like-a very much. But Ruth – she MARRIED an Israelite! As our story begins, Ruth, her Israelite husband and her husband’s mother were all living in Moab because there was a famine in Israel.

BUCK 

A “famine?” You mean, “no food?”

CHESTER WHIGGET

Right. No food. So there they are in Moab, when – oh no! – Ruth’s husband dies!

I don’t know what happened – maybe he got hit by a bus.

BUCK

I don’t think they had buses back then.

CHESTER WHIGGET

Okay… maybe he got hit by a cow.

BUCK

Chester…

CHESTER WHIGGET 

A goat?

BUCK

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

An ill-tempered iguana?

BUCK 

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Anyway, he’s dead. He’s gone. No more husband. Now Ruth’s mother-in- law – her name is Naomi – she doesn’t have a husband either. He died a while back – probably another iguana…

BUCK

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

… or something. Naomi doesn’t really belong in Moab. She’s an Israelite.

So as soon as the famine ends, she decides to go back to Israel. Of course, she is old and has no husband and no money. So she’ll have to beg for food. Her life will be sad.

Well guess what? Ruth doesn’t want that to happen! She loves Naomi! So even though Moab is her home, Ruth says to Naomi – “I will come with you! Your people will be my people! Your God will be my God!” Isn’t that beautiful? I’m telling you, that part makes me cry every time…

BUCK (sniffling)

Yeah, that’s really something.

CHESTER WHIGGET

It gets you right in the gut…

Anyway, this amazing Ruth, she leaves her home and goes to Israel with Naomi to take care of her! Every day she follows the workers in the fields to pick up little bits of grain to share with Naomi!

Oh, I’m losing it! But get this – this is the best part – so she’s picking up bits of grain in a field that belongs to a wealthy man named Boaz, who happens to be related to Naomi’s old husband – the one that died in the iguana accident…

BUCK

I don’t think he was killed by an iguana!!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Whatever. Anyway, Boaz sees Ruth in the field, and hears about what she’s done for Naomi. He hears about her great love for her mother- in-law. And get this! He falls in love with Ruth! Wonderful Ruth!

And – and – Ruth and Boaz end up getting married! And Boaz takes care of Ruth, AND takes care of Naomi, her mother-in-law! And EVERYONE is happy – and they burst into song -

(singing)

Ever since I saw you – I knew that I loved you – And we’ll be together! Always and forever! Always – always – always and -

BUCK

Uh, Chester – I don’t think they burst into song! The book of Ruth isn’t a musical!

CHESTER WHIGGET 

Well it SHOULD be.

BUCK

So, what happens when their big timeout is finished?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Moses gives a big giant speech.

BUCK

Oh. How exciting.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

It’s an important speech. So important that it’s the next whole book of the Bible. Deuteronomy.

BUCK

Dooba-what?

MARCY

Time for a song!

BUCK

Excuse me?

MARCY

Enough talking! Sing something!

BUCK

About what?

MARCY

Deuteronomy! Whadya think?!?

Go!!

BUCK

All right– here’s a song about Dooberooberly.

MARCY

Deuteronomy!

BUCK

Dooberobity.

MARCY

Just sing the song!

BUCK

And now–the fabulous Bentley Brothers!

BENTLEY BROTHERS

I suppose you know of Moses

I always picture him with a beard.

Hmm. I picture him with a mustache, though I know that’s a little weird.

There was time when he gathered all the Israelites around.

He told them some things and said, “I should probably write this down.”

That’s now the book of Deuteronomy.

40 days worth of sermons  in 1410 B.C.

Moses reminded everybody who’d been wandering around in the wilderness,

God gives you His best, give Him your best, and you will be blessed.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Let’s dive right in.

Genesis is a long book with 50 chapters that’s divided into two parts. The first 11 chapters make up part 1 – covering “Primeval History.” Pastor Paul – what does that mean?

PASTOR PAUL

The word “primeval” comes from two Latin words meaning “first” and “age.” So “primeval history” is the story of the “first age” – it’s the story of what happened first.

PHIL

All great stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Now, the beginning tells us the “who” and “where” – who is our story about and where does it take place? The beginning section of a story usually ends with an event that changes the world for our characters – that turns their world upside down.

For example, our story might be about a little fish and a daddy fish living in the bottom of the ocean. At the end of the beginning, a terrible event happens and the little fish is captured and carried away! Does that story sound familiar?

Now, the middle of a story is where the characters try to make things right – try to fix what was broken in the beginning.

IAN

And the END of the story is where they roll the credits so we can count all the stunt men and best boys.

PHIL

Actually, the credits come AFTER the end of a story. The END of a story is when we find out if the characters’ efforts worked–if they can make their world whole again. If the daddy fish can find his son, and they can be together again. We love stories like this because deep down we know that we are IN a story like this.

CAP’N PETE

So what did he ask for? A submarine?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

No, he didn’t ask for a submarine.

CHUCK WAGGIN

I bet he asked to be rich – or famous! That’s what most kings want!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Yes, that IS what most kings want. But that isn’t what Solomon asked for. No, Solomon asked for wisdom.

IAN

Wisdom? What’s that?

PASTOR PAUL

“Wisdom” – to be wise. The ability to make good decisions.

IAN

What? How boring is that! He could’ve asked for a brontosaurus with headlights!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

When you’re a king, making decisions is everything! Good decisions will help your people. Bad decisions will hurt them! Solomon didn’t want to be a rich king or a famous king. He wanted to be a GOOD king!

CLIVE

I bet God liked THAT request!

BROTHER LOUIE

He sure did! God said, “Since you asked for wisdom, not only will I make you a WISE king, I will ALSO make you a RICH and FAMOUS king!

CLIVE

So he got it all!

IAN

Except the brontosaurus with headlights.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I don’t think he wanted one of those, Ian.

IAN

Probably ‘cuz he didn’t know they exist.

CLIVE

All right. Let’s let that go, now.

IAN

It’d just be fun – that’s all.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

We’re up to the 10th book of the Bible!

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1st Samuel… 2nd Samuel!

2nd Samuel is the 10th book in the Bible, and the FIFTH of the Historical Books!

PHIL

At the beginning of 2nd Samuel, David learns about the death of King Saul…

IAN

So HE becomes the king of Israel and lives happily ever after! The end!

PHIL

Uh, no… not exactly. Sunday School Lady?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

At first, only the tribe of Judah wanted David to be their king. Judah was the biggest tribe by far - so big it was almost a little country all by itself! Since David was from Judah, they thought he’d make a great king!

BROTHER LOUIE

What about everybody else?!?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Usually when a king died, one of his sons became king. And King Saul still had a son left – Ish- bosheth.

CHUCK WAGGIN

Ish-bo-what?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Yep. Imagine going to junior high with a name like Ish-bosheth.

Anyway, King Saul’s general – the guy in charge of his army – was a big, strong guy named Abner. Abner thought Ish-bosheth should be the next king, and the northern tribes agreed!

CLIVE 

But Samuel had picked David to be the next king!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Well, they weren’t really listening to Samuel – or God for that matter. So for a while Ish-bosheth was the king of the northern tribes, and David was the king of Judah! It was a mess!

BROTHER LOUIE

Israel had a new enemy in town - the meanest buncha fellas they’d ever seen! They were called the “Philistines.”

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

Oh, the Philistines were big and mean. And tall and strong and hairy! The toughest dudes you ever seen! To Israel, they looked scary! So they said to Samuel, “Here’s the thing – It’s time for us to have a king – With crown and robe and fancy ring – Ridin’ high upon the saddle – he’ll lead us into battle!”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Clive – where’d the Philistines come from?

CLIVE

Ian? The slide, please!

IAN

Righto…

CLIVE

Um – Ian… It’s upside down!

IAN

Sorry!

CLIVE

Right. The Philistines were a group of people who arrived in Canaan from the sea around 1100 BC.

Archeologists today believe they came from the island of Crete. They were tough, aggressive, and good at making weapons from iron, which was new at the time. They gave the Israelites LOTS of trouble!

In Part One, he talks about how he struggled after the bankruptcy of Big Idea and tells the story of how he found his motivation to produce Christian children’s media again.

“Then one day as I was sitting there on the park bench, eating my sandwich, two little girls ran across in front of me. They were sisters, like 5 and 3. And they were chasing each other and they were climbing up on stuff and they were going around the fountain and then I saw their mom, chasing after them with the stroller, trying to keep them safe, trying to keep them out of trouble.

And my heart went out to her because I have girls – they’re older now – and I know what the world has for those girls. I know how short the time is when they will go from Barney and Blues’ Clues to MTV and Abercrombie & Fitch, how the cute, innocent smiles of 4 and 5 year old girls would quickly change to the jaded looks of 13-year-olds who know their only value is in their ability to attract the opposite sex. And my heart went out for her, and I wanted to help her. “What could I – how could I help that mom?”

And I thought, “Ok. We live in such a media-saturated culture and we’re so brand aware, if only I could create some kind of media brand that she could trust … “. And then in an instant I thought, “That’s what Big Idea was supposed to be. That’s why I started all this in the first place.” In an instant, all of the bankruptcy proceedings and the lawyers and the insurance and all the mess disappeared and I could see all the way back to the beginning, to the call I felt to help a messy world find a holy God.”

Check out Part One on video here:

You can watch Part Two here.

Question #1: Why is it called Christmas?

Question #2: Was Jesus born on Christmas?

Question #3: How long has it been since Jesus was born?

Question #4: What does Santa have to do with the birth of Jesus?

Question #5: How did St. Nicholas turn into Santa?

Question #6: Why does Santa wear red?

Question #7: Why does Santa ring a bell and ask for money sometimes?

Question #8: What is Hanukah?

Question #9: Why do we have Christmas trees?

Question #10: What are the 12 Days of Christmas?

Question #11: Who is Emmanuel?

Question #12: What is Clive getting Ian for Christmas?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

The historical books are the next 12 books – Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1&2 Samuel, 1&2 Kings, 1&2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther. In a Hebrew Bible, some of these books are in a section called the “Former Prophets,” and the rest are in a section called the “Writings.” They’re the same books as in English Bibles, just organized a little differently.

What on earth is that?

BUCK

Oop – there he goes!

CAP’N PETE (singing)

When you open the Old Testament and read it categorically, You’ll find a dozen books that we are meant to read historically. They tell the tales of Israel. There’s nothin’ metaphorical. And that is why these books are in a section called “Historical!”

Joshua and Judges – and Ruth and both the Samuels, First and Second Kings in front of First and Second Chronicles

Then Ezra, Nehemiah, and now there’s just one more to fall – Esther is the final of the books we call historical!

BUCK

Hmm. That was weird.

CHESTER WHIGGET

Allright! I will-a tell the story of-a Ruth!

BUCK

Oh, no – not you!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Yes a-me! Chester Whigget! Master of the popsicle stick puppet! And now, the Story of Ruth!!

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Ruth! She wasn’t an Israelite – she was from Moab, a country Israel didn’t like-a very much. But Ruth – she MARRIED an Israelite! As our story begins, Ruth, her Israelite husband and her husband’s mother were all living in Moab because there was a famine in Israel.

BUCK 

A “famine?” You mean, “no food?”

CHESTER WHIGGET

Right. No food. So there they are in Moab, when – oh no! – Ruth’s husband dies!

I don’t know what happened – maybe he got hit by a bus.

BUCK

I don’t think they had buses back then.

CHESTER WHIGGET

Okay… maybe he got hit by a cow.

BUCK

Chester…

CHESTER WHIGGET 

A goat?

BUCK

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

An ill-tempered iguana?

BUCK 

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Anyway, he’s dead. He’s gone. No more husband. Now Ruth’s mother-in- law – her name is Naomi – she doesn’t have a husband either. He died a while back – probably another iguana…

BUCK

Chester!

CHESTER WHIGGET

… or something. Naomi doesn’t really belong in Moab. She’s an Israelite.

So as soon as the famine ends, she decides to go back to Israel. Of course, she is old and has no husband and no money. So she’ll have to beg for food. Her life will be sad.

Well guess what? Ruth doesn’t want that to happen! She loves Naomi! So even though Moab is her home, Ruth says to Naomi – “I will come with you! Your people will be my people! Your God will be my God!” Isn’t that beautiful? I’m telling you, that part makes me cry every time…

BUCK (sniffling)

Yeah, that’s really something.

CHESTER WHIGGET

It gets you right in the gut…

Anyway, this amazing Ruth, she leaves her home and goes to Israel with Naomi to take care of her! Every day she follows the workers in the fields to pick up little bits of grain to share with Naomi!

Oh, I’m losing it! But get this – this is the best part – so she’s picking up bits of grain in a field that belongs to a wealthy man named Boaz, who happens to be related to Naomi’s old husband – the one that died in the iguana accident…

BUCK

I don’t think he was killed by an iguana!!

CHESTER WHIGGET

Whatever. Anyway, Boaz sees Ruth in the field, and hears about what she’s done for Naomi. He hears about her great love for her mother- in-law. And get this! He falls in love with Ruth! Wonderful Ruth!

And – and – Ruth and Boaz end up getting married! And Boaz takes care of Ruth, AND takes care of Naomi, her mother-in-law! And EVERYONE is happy – and they burst into song -

(singing)

Ever since I saw you – I knew that I loved you – And we’ll be together! Always and forever! Always – always – always and -

BUCK

Uh, Chester – I don’t think they burst into song! The book of Ruth isn’t a musical!

CHESTER WHIGGET 

Well it SHOULD be.

CHUCK WAGGIN

We learned about Judges

We learned about Ruth

And nasty stuff Israel did in her youth

These books in the Bible

They teach us the truth

That God is the one we should follow!

In Judges we saw how they followed themselves!

Ignoring the law Moses put on their shelves!

And deep into misery our story delves

A lesson in who we should follow!

The horrors of Judges, they show us the thing

That Israel needs is a good, godly king!

And Ruth is a tiny book you can read fast

That points to the king that is coming at last!

Redemption!

I’ll shout it with all of my breath!

A king who can save us from sin and from death!

The seeds have been planted – we know it’s the truth -

Way back in the Bible – with Boaz and Ruth!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

So that brings us to the SEVENTH book of the Bible – and the SECOND Historical Book!

Genesis – Exodus – Leviticus - Numbers – Deuteronomy- Joshua- JUDGES!

IAN

Why would they call a book “Judges?”.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Because it tells the stories of twelve leaders God used to help Israel. And those leaders were called the “judges.”

IAN

Did they wear black robes and sit in a courtroom?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

No, they weren’t judges like our judges today. They were really just leaders.

BROTHER LOUIE

What were their names, Sunday School Lady?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Oooh – The best way to answer that question, is with a song.

Like THIS one!

BUCK

And now, the fabulous Bentley Brothers…

BENTLEY BROTHERS

You can’t turn on the tv today without seeing a courtroom show with a celebrity judge

just a-judging away deciding who takes home the dough.

But long before television (yeah, people used to live without it)

God sent celebrity judges to Israel and there’s a book about it

It’s called Judges. That’s the name. The subject and the title are one and the same.

Like a book about weather called weather.

Or a book about Heather called Heather.

Who’s Heather?

She’s my cousin (oh) and that’s her name.

Yeah, but who are the Judges?

You’ve got Othniel and Ehud

Shamgar and Deborah

Gideon and Tola

Jair and Jephtha

Who could forget about ole’ Ibzon

Or Elon and Abdon

And the most famous of them all, that long haired dude named Samson

He was strong!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Joshua is a medium sized book with 24 chapters that divide into 4 parts.

Part 1 is about Joshua finally leading the Israelites across the Jordan river and into Canaan – the Promised Land!

BROTHER LOUIE

And once again, God parts the waters so they can walk through on dry land!

IAN

With the fishes just starin’ at ‘em!

CLIVE

Not this time! The book of Joshua says the waters of the Jordan River were blocked about 20 miles upstream from the Israelites, so for sure no fish could watch them cross.

IAN

Oh. That’s too bad.

CLIVE

What’s interesting is that the place the Bible says the waters were stopped is a place where giant mud slides sometimes block the whole river! The last time this happened was in 1927, and the Jordan River was completely blocked for 20 hours!

IAN

Wow! So God might have used a mud slide to help the Israelites cross the river!

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

Mud slide! Mud slide! God can use you as a guide! Help me to the other side! Mud slide!

CAP’N PETE

Hey! I’m the one singin’!

CHUCK WAGGIN

Sorry! It looked fun!!

IAN

Oh.

CLIVE

That’s a good question. If we’ve ALL sinned, and sin deserves DEATH, why haven’t we ALL gotten what we deserve?

PHIL

Because God loves us. He launched his “rescue plan” to save as many as possible from the death we deserve. The people of Egypt who were holding the Israelites as slaves – the Israelites who told God his plan was WRONG – the people of Canaan who tried to stop God from giving the Israelites that land – they were all standing in the way of God’s rescue plan. Thinking you can stop God’s rescue plan is a little bit like thinking you can stop a freight train by standing in front of it. It’s NOT VERY SMART – and you’re PROBABLY going to get HURT.

BUCK

So – do you have a song for THAT?!?

CAP’N PETE

Uh… well… let’s see… that’s a tricky one…

All right – how about this?

You can’t stop a train

By standin’ in the track.

You can’t stop an avalanche

By yellin’ – “Hey! Turn back!”

And standin’ in the way

Of what God is gonna do -

Will be really, really, really, really

Not so good for you!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Can I help out, Cap’n Pete?

CAP’N PETE

Ehh..Well…

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

That’s right! By the end of the book of Judges, the Israelites had broken their covenant with God in every way imaginable! Some of the tribes of Israel were even killing EACH OTHER! They were making idols, and some of the Levites – God’s priests in Israel – were helping the other tribes worship the IDOLS instead of God! The cycle of apostasy went down and down and down…

CAP’N PETE (singing)

Oh – The cycle of apostasy – Brings Israel to misery!

It’s not a pretty sight to see! They go down and down again!

They do what’s right in their own eyes! And much too late they realize

And then to God apologize And come around again!

Now they’re good and now they’re bad!

First they’re happy, then they’re sad!

And now they need their heavenly dad To bail them out again!

So do not do what Israel did!

Be a bright and faithful kid!

And you’ll be happy that did!

You won’t go down again!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Well, that was just super awesome, Cap’n Pete!

CAP’N PETE

Thank you very much!!

IAN

So what’s with all these wacky rules? And why don’t we follow them all today?

CLIVE

Right. We still can’t lie, or cheat, or hurt each other.

IAN

But we can eat bacon! Or ants! Not that I’m saying I want to eat ants, but if I did no one would say it was a sin.

CLIVE

You raise a very a good question.

IAN

Thanks.

CLIVE

That’s a BIG question!

IAN

Thanks. You think it might be time for – “Big Questions”.

CHESTER WHIGGET

Big Questions with Buck Denver!

BUCK

Wait! I’m here! Big Questions with Buck Denver. Today’s question: What’s with all the wacky rules, and why don’t we follow them today?

CHESTER WHIGGET

What’s with all the wacky -

BUCK

All right, all right! You don’t need to repeat the whole thing.

CHESTER WHIGGET 

Okay.

BUCK

Sunday School Lady – what do we know?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Glad to help out, Buck. What’s confusing you, Ian, is that God gave Israel more than one kind of rule because he was asking them for more than one kind of holiness. Some of the rules were for Ritual Holiness, while others were for Ethical Holiness.

IAN

That does not help at all.

CLIVE

I don’t think she’s done.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

No, I wasn’t. Do you know what a ritual is? It’s something we do over and over that has a deep meaning – that reminds us of something important. For example, some football teams have an odd habit – before they run out for a game they’ll all touch a rock.

IAN

Is it a magic football rock?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

No, it’s just an ordinary rock. But hitting it before each game reminds them of their commitment to playing hard and doing their very best! Hitting the rock is a RITUAL that reminds them of something important!

CLIVE

Oh, I get it! It sounds crazy to us, but it means something to them!

IAN

Just like all the crazy rules in Leviticus!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Right! All those rules about their clothes and their food and their hair would remind the Israelites 20 times a day that they were “set apart” for God! It would remind them to do their very best!

IAN

And get the most touchdowns!

CLIVE

Wait – you’re taking the football analogy a little too far.

IAN

Oh. Home runs?

CLIVE

Ahem.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

We’ve already gone through Genesis and Exodus. The next book is called Leviticus! Leviticus picks up right where Exodus left off – with even MORE instructions on how to be holy. So what does the word “holy” mean?

IAN

Got it. The word “holy” means “full of holes.” As in “my socks are very holy.”

I used it in a sentence and everything.

CLIVE

Yes, you did.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

That’s a different kind of “holy.” Pastor Paul, can you help us out?

PASTOR PAUL

The word “holy” means “dedicated to” or “set apart” for God. To be holy is to be “set apart” for God.

CAP’N PETE

I “set apart” these mashed potatoes to eat later. They are “holy.”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

No, Cap’n Pete – that isn’t quite right. To be “holy” something must be set apart for God. Those mashed potatoes are for you. That might make them yummy, but it doesn’t make them holy.

CAP’N PETE

Sorry potatoes.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I like the Bible – it’s not a fluke,

that it all starts out with the Pentateuch,

Five little books that tell the story of God

IAN

and Adam and Eve and Joseph and…

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Sometimes called “Five Books of Moses”

CLIVE

He’s the one whose life composes

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

The story line of all these books -

with the exception of Genesis!

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers

IAN

Read a little every day before you slumber

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Cap it all off with a trip through Deuteronomy!

BROTHER LOUIE

Deuteronomy! Deuteronomy!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Parts are fun – others not so much

BROTHER LOUIE

With sinnin’ and floodin’ and plagues and such

CHUCK WAGGIN’

Whether you’re German or French or Dutch

IAN

We can all learn a thing from the Penta-touch!

CLIVE

That’s not right.

CHUCK WAGGIN’

Whether you’re a king or a queen or a duke ,

EVERYONE

We can all learn a thing from the Pentateuch!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

What’s the 4th book of the Bible?

Genesis… Exodus… Leviticus… Numbers! Numbers? Why would they name a book “Numbers?” Well, because it starts out with a big list of numbers. If you remember, Leviticus is a big book of laws and regulations given to Moses at Mt. Sinai. Well, as Numbers starts, its time to head for the promised land so what do they do first?

They count everybody and write it all down! Hence the name, “Numbers.” Most of the book actually involves the Israelites wandering around in the desert, which is why the Hebrew name for the book is “Bemidbar,” meaning “in the desert.” That makes a lot more sense, but “Bemidbar” isn’t very catchy. Neither is Haggai, but that’s beside the point.

So Numbers is a book about a big number of Israelites who wander around in the desert for 40 years instead of going to the Promised Land. Why were they stuck in the desert? Pastor Paul?

PASTOR PAUL

They were on time-out. God saved them from Pharaoh’s army and brought them across the Red Sea and what did they do? Started complaining!

BUCK

So, what happens when their big timeout is finished?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Moses gives a big giant speech.

BUCK

Oh. How exciting.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

It’s an important speech. So important that it’s the next whole book of the Bible. Deuteronomy.

BUCK

Dooba-what?

MARCY

Time for a song!

BUCK

Excuse me?

MARCY

Enough talking! Sing something!

BUCK

About what?

MARCY

Deuteronomy! Whadya think?!?

Go!!

BUCK

All right– here’s a song about Dooberooberly.

MARCY

Deuteronomy!

BUCK

Dooberobity.

MARCY

Just sing the song!

BUCK

And now–the fabulous Bentley Brothers!

BENTLEY BROTHERS

I suppose you know of Moses

I always picture him with a beard.

Hmm. I picture him with a mustache, though I know that’s a little weird.

There was time when he gathered all the Israelites around.

He told them some things and said, “I should probably write this down.”

That’s now the book of Deuteronomy.

40 days worth of sermons  in 1410 B.C.

Moses reminded everybody who’d been wandering around in the wilderness,

God gives you His best, give Him your best, and you will be blessed.

BUCK DENVER

New words! We’ve got new words! Sunday School Lady! What’s the word?!?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

All right Magic Flannelgraph, how about a drum roll? Our first new word is…“Salvation!”

I bet you’ve heard this word before. But do you really know what it means?

Pastor Paul?

PASTOR PAUL

Salvation is the act of “saving or rescuing from harm or danger.”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

That’s right! Let’s show ‘em, Magic Flannelgraph!

Say you and your brother are out at sea, in a little boat.

Suddenly your boat springs a leak and you start to sink!

You need help! You need saving! You need rescuing! You’re in DANGER!!

Then you hear something!

It’s – it’s a helicopter!

You wave your arms and they see you!

You’re gonna be saved! You’re gonna be rescued! That helicopter is your SALVATION! It will SAVE you from sinking in the sea!

BUCK DENVER

Nice alliteration. Salvation! To be saved or rescued from danger! Great! So God’s “rescue plan” could also be called a plan of salvation!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Primeval history was the first 11 chapters of Genesis. The rest of Genesis is “Patriarchal History.” Pastor Paul – what is a “patriarch?”

IAN

I know this one!

CLIVE

Ian, what are you doing?

IAN

I know this one.

If you have a lot of donuts or danishes and there is a flood, you need to big boat to save them. That boat is called a “Pastry Ark.”

CLIVE

You’re kidding me, right?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I didn’t say “pastry ark,” I said “patriarch.” Pastor Paul?

IAN

I thought I had that one.

CLIVE 

He’s not with me.

PASTOR PAUL

Ahem. Yes. A “Patriarch” is the male head – or father – of a family.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

What if it’s the mother?

PASTOR PAUL

Then it’s a “matriarch.”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Well, whadya know! So patriarchal history is the story of God working through a series of fathers to SAVE THE WORLD!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Ohhhhh – Way back in the Bible, The ancient world was tribal And they’d bow before the moon and sun Or metal cows or anyone They thought could give them food and health And victory at war and wealth Or make their crops grow very high and make their wives have babies!

IAN

That’s ridiculous! A metal cow can’t give you food or help you win battles or have babies!

CLIVE

Of course not! We know that now.

IAN

Right. We’re much smarter!

CLIVE

Um… right.

PASTOR PAUL

To protect their own sons from the final plague, God told the Israelites to sacrifice a spotless lamb – a lamb without flaw – and put the blood on the door posts of their homes. The angel that brought death to the Egyptian sons saw the blood on the door posts and “passed over” the Israelite homes. Jewish people celebrate this miraculous part of God’s rescue plan each year with a festival called “Passover.”

IAN

Wait a minute – what was so special about that lamb that it could save the life of a boy?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

There was nothing special about the lamb. It was just a regular lamb. But God used a spotless lamb as a lesson about sin and a sign of something that would happen much later in his rescue plan.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

The second book of the Bible is… Genesis… Exodus! Exodus is the story of the Israelites in Egypt and Moses and the Red Sea – and God’s rescue plan really kicking into gear! Let’s hear a song about it! Chuck Waggin?

CHUCK WAGGIN

Oh, I took a bus from Texas just to sing a song ’bout Exodus

The story of the Israelites enslaved

Until a man named Moses who did just what God had told him to

And Jacob’s sons and daughters all were saved

Oh, Texas bus, take me on in Exodus

Way beyond this mess and fuss

Take me to the Promised Land

And we’ll discuss what we learned in Exodus

About the burning bush and the one who saved his children from the grip of Pharaoh’s hand

BUCK DENVER

Good day, world! This is Buck Denver, and I’ve got news for you! Genesis! We’re not done yet! But before we jump in, it’s time to answer our BIG QUESTION!

CHESTER WHIGGET

It’s time for “Big Questions with Buck Denver!”

BUCK DENVER

Yes – thank you.

CHESTER WHIGGET 

You’re a-welcome!!

BUCK DENVER

Ahem. Today’s Big Question – Who picked the books to be in the Bible?

CHESTER WHIGGET

Who picked the books to be in the Bible?!?

BUCK DENVER

Thank - Never mind. Sunday School Lady – what do we know?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Oh, that’s a great question, Buck! First, we need to learn a new word. And the word is… “Canon.”

CAP’N PETE (singing)

Oh, I’ve gotta cannon and I like to shoot! It’s really big and black, but I think it’s kinda cute!

It makes a big noise in the middle of the night And it’s very, very handy in a pirate fight!

Oh – I’ve gotta cannon…

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Um, no, Captain Pete – you mean “cannon” with two ‘n’s in the middle. We’re talking about “canon” with one ‘n’ in the middle.

CAP’N PETE (singing)

Oh, I’ve gotta ‘canon’ with just one ‘n’ I still like to shoot it, but never at a friend!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY 

Where’s that music coming from? Brother Louie – is that you?

BROTHER LOUIE (singing)

Hallelujah! Look what God can do!

Hallelujah! His promises come true!

If God is who he says he is

Then we can trust his promises

So I say – Hallelujah! Look what God can do!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

By FAITH, Abraham left his home in Ur.

IAN

What’s “faith?”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Faith is believing that God is who he says he is, and that he’ll do what he says he’ll do. That’s faith. God said Abraham would have a son even though his wife couldn’t have kids and he was crazy old! And Abraham believed God. He had faith. And God gave him a son. Now, our faith grows the most when it’s tested. So God asked Abraham if he would give up his son.

IAN

Give up his son? Why would God want him to do that?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

God didn’t want Abraham to give up Isaac. He wanted him to be WILLING to give up Isaac. God wanted to know if Abraham trusted him more than anything – wanted to know if he would let go of everything before he would let go of God.

CLIVE

So what happened? Did Isaac have to die?

IAN

I don’t like this story!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Hold on! At the last minute – as Abraham was ready to sacrifice Isaac – to give him up to God – God sent an angel to stop him! And then he provided a ram for the sacrifice – to take Isaac’s place! Now God knew that Abraham trusted him completely! And Abraham and Isaac’s faith grew – because they knew God would keep his promises always!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Let’s dive right in.

Genesis is a long book with 50 chapters that’s divided into two parts. The first 11 chapters make up part 1 – covering “Primeval History.” Pastor Paul – what does that mean?

PASTOR PAUL

The word “primeval” comes from two Latin words meaning “first” and “age.” So “primeval history” is the story of the “first age” – it’s the story of what happened first.

PHIL

All great stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Now, the beginning tells us the “who” and “where” – who is our story about and where does it take place? The beginning section of a story usually ends with an event that changes the world for our characters – that turns their world upside down.

For example, our story might be about a little fish and a daddy fish living in the bottom of the ocean. At the end of the beginning, a terrible event happens and the little fish is captured and carried away! Does that story sound familiar?

Now, the middle of a story is where the characters try to make things right – try to fix what was broken in the beginning.

IAN

And the END of the story is where they roll the credits so we can count all the stunt men and best boys.

PHIL

Actually, the credits come AFTER the end of a story. The END of a story is when we find out if the characters’ efforts worked–if they can make their world whole again. If the daddy fish can find his son, and they can be together again. We love stories like this because deep down we know that we are IN a story like this.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Now the Old Testament books are divided into four sections… The Torah or Pentateuch – that means “five books” … The Historical Books… The Prophets… and The Writings or wisdom literature. We’ll get into all that later.

The New Testament also has four sections… The Gospels, which tell the story of Jesus… The Acts of the Apostles which talks about the early days of the church and Paul’s missionary trips… The Letters or Epistles – that’s a fancy word that means, um, “Letters”… and the Revelation to John, the really wild book at the back that talks about THE END OF THE WORLD!!

Any questions?

MICHAEL

I’ve got a question! Why are they called “testa-mints?” Do they give you fresh breath? Because I licked one and it didn’t work.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Um, no, they don’t call them “testa-mints,” they call them “testa- MENTS.” Can you clue us in, Pastor Paul?

PASTOR PAUL

The word “testament” comes from the Latin word “testamentum,” meaning “oath” or “covenant.” A covenant and an oath are promises. So the word testament means “promise.”

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Thanks, Pastor Paul.

So the Bible is split up into two sections – one section is called “The Old Promise,” and the second section is called “The New Promise.” You know what a promise is, don’t ya? It’s when you make a commitment – when you say you’re going to do something, no matter what!

IAN

So who’s making these big promises in the Bible – and what are they promising?

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Yes, the first book of the Bible is Genesis! Let’s hear a song about it!

BUCK DENVER 

And now the fabulous Bentley Brothers…

BENTLEY BROTHERS

Genesis begins it all and appropriately it’s at the beginning of the Bible

Genesis really means beginning, if it were anywhere else in the Bible

That would be kinda confusing

Can you make a light without a light switch?

Or water without a spicket?

Can you make a man from a dustpan?

Well you can’t but guess what?

God did it!

“Let there be light”.. There it was!

Plus bugs and rhinoceroses

Adam and Eve had one rule to follow

But they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil

Causing trouble for all subsequent people

CHUCK WAGGIN (sung)

Who do you trust? Who do you listen to? How are you gonna live your life? This is the choice We’ve gotta wrestle through Every girl and boy and man and wife!

(spoken) God gave Adam and Eve a choice: Trust him, or trust the voices they heard around them.

(pause) They chose poorly. By turning away from God, they said they didn’t believe him. They were going to go their own way. And “sin” entered the world.

Two little “sins” drop into the scene and jump around mischievously.

KID’S VOICE

What’s ‘sin’?

CHUCK WAGGIN

“Sin” is when we ignore God. When we go our own way. When we put ourselves first – in front of our friends and neighbors, and in front of God. When we say to God “I don’t care what you say – I’m gonna do it my way!!”

“Sin” entering the world changed everything.

KID’S VOICE

Why?

CHUCK WAGGIN

Because of who God is. God is so pure, sin cannot be near him. Now, that serpent knew that. He was trying to hurt God, and he knew if he could get Adam and Eve to sin, then THEY couldn’t be close to God! God’s most beloved creatures would have to live their lives apart from him!

KID’S VOICE

Couldn’t God just change the rules so they could be with him again? He can do anything, right?

CHUCK WAGGIN

Yes, God can do anything. Anything except change his own nature. He can’t change who he is. If God changed who he was, he wouldn’t be God anymore. So even though it made God very, very sad, Adam and Eve had to leave the garden and live new lives in a wild, mean world.

PHIL

Hello there, I’m Phil Vischer. And I’m here with my friend Buck Denver…

BUCK DENVER

That’s me! Buck Denver! “Man of news!!”

PHIL

Um – right. And we’re here to take you deep inside the most amazing book ever written!

You know, since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press around 1440, millions of different books have been printed. And of all those books – one has sold more copies than any other, and has been translated into more languages than any other, and has affected the world more than any other.

IAN

Oh! I know what it is!

PHIL

Hmm? Oh – hello, Clive and Ian!

IAN

I know what it is!

CLIVE

Introduce yourself first.

IAN

I’m Ian!

CLIVE

And I’m Clive, his brother!

IAN

And I know what it is!

PHIL

All right Ian – tell us! What is the best-selling, most influential book of all time?

IAN

Pat the Bunny.

CLIVE 

Ian!

IAN

Goodnight Moon?

CLIVE

Oh for heaven’s sake!

IAN

Hop on Pop? Green Eggs and Ham?

PHIL

Those are all good guesses, Ian, and they’re all good books – in fact I own every one of those and enjoy them quite a bit. But none of them are the best-selling, most influential book of all time.

No, that honor would go to this book.

IAN 

It’s as big as my head!

CLIVE

And that’s saying something.

IAN

What is that giant book?!?

PHIL

This – is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

IAN

That looks like a phone.

PHIL

It is. It’s my phone. BUT on my phone are TWO different versions of the Bible!

IAN

I’ve got Tetris on my phone.

It’s kinda fun…

CLIVE

I think you’re missing the point.  We’re talking about the Bible!

PHIL

Ahem. Right. The Bible has been translated into more than 2000 languages and dialects, making it the most translated, most influential, best-selling book in the history of the world!

IAN

And I thought Tetris was popular…

PHIL

And that’s why we’re going to take you from one end of the Bible to the other, in our new show – “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

IAN

Catchy title! But shouldn’t it be “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian?”

CLIVE

That has a nice ring to it!

BUCK DENVER

What? No one wants to see “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian!” They want to see “What’s in the Bible with Buck Denver! Man of News!”

IAN

Well, who made you the king of the … Bible shows?

BUCK DENVER

Phil did! When he put my name on the cover!

PHIL

Now, guys – let’s not argue… this is a show about the Bible!

CHUCK WAGGIN 

Hey y’all!

PHIL

Oh – hi Chuck Waggin.

CHUCK WAGGIN

You can’t do a show about the Bible with Yankees and Brits! You need someone from the buckle of the Bible belt! Someone with a GEEtar – who can sing songs like this!

(sings)

Oh the Bible is a book with about a million pages Don’t try to read it all at once, you’re better off in stages!

Don’t drop it on yer foot, or yer toes are gonna ache. Keep it clean and neat and warm and dry for goodness sake!

PHIL

Uh… Chuck Waggin, I don’t know…

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

Oh the Bible is a book with a zillion million words! You can read it all in Hebrew but it’s gonna sound absurd

They were readin’ it in Jesus’ day and we still read it now If your Bible’s made a’ leather it smells sorta like a cow!

Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible is a real important book on the shelf! Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… It’s time to bring it down and take a look for yourself!

It’s time to take that book down from the shelf!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Oh for the love of Henrietta Mears!

Buncha fellas can’t teach the Bible all by themselves! It takes a lady’s touch! Especially if that lady is a professional Sunday School teacher.

PHIL

Hi, Sunday School Lady!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Hello, dear. Welcome to “What’s in the Bible with Sunday School Lady!”

IAN

That’s ridiculous!

CLIVE

Who said SHE could come?!?

AGNES

Good heavens, Winnifred! Only two minutes in and it’s already a train wreck!

WINNIFRED

Yes, Agnes. Should I change it?

AGNES

No! I love it! This is more fun than American Idol!

BUCK DENVER

… with BUCK DENVER!! MAN OF NEWS!!!

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

If you only talk to Yankees your theology is saggin’ … so you better learn yer Bible with a fella like Chuck Waggin!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I’ve got a Magic Flannelgraph!!

PHIL

Hold it! Hold it! HOLD IT!!

We’re teaching the Bible – which says an awful lot about cooperation, and sharing, and getting along with each other.

IAN 

Is that true?

CLIVE 

I’m afraid he’s right.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Good point.

Why didn’t you catch that, Magic Flannelgraph?

Sleeping?!? Your eyes were wide open!!

PHIL

SO – we’re going to go through the Bible TOGETHER. All of you can help.

BUCK DENVER

But… what do we call it?

PHIL

We already have a perfectly good name.

Welcome to “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

CLIVE 

And friends?

PHIL

“… and friends.”

AGNES

Five bucks says they don’t make it past Leviticus.

WINNIFRED

You’re on.

CLIVE

I see you’re reading the Bible again.

IAN

Yep.

CLIVE

That usually means you’re developing a big question.

IAN

Yep.

CLIVE

Okay – what is it?

IAN

Lots of people died.

CLIVE

What’ya mean?

IAN

In all these battles. The Israelites killed lots of people. Did God WANT them to die?

CLIVE 

Oh – my. That is a very tricky question. I guess it’s time for -

CHESTER WHIGGET

“Tricky Bits with Buck Denver!”

BUCK 

Buck isn’t here right now… please leave a message after the beep.

(pause) Beep!

CHESTER WHIGGET

And now it’s time for… “Tricky Bits with Phil!”

PHIL

This is actually one of the trickiest bits in the whole Bible. When the Israelites entered the land of Canaan, there were already people living there who didn’t want to leave. Most of those people were eventually killed by the Israelites. Why was it okay for the Israelites to take land from other people, and how could it POSSIBLY be okay for the Israelites to KILL them to get it?!?

Enjoy the first 5-ish minutes of DVD #1: “In the Beginning”

PHIL

Hello there, I’m Phil Vischer. And I’m here with my friend Buck Denver…

BUCK DENVER

That’s me! Buck Denver! “Man of news!!”

PHIL

Um – right. And we’re here to take you deep inside the most amazing book ever written!

You know, since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press around 1440, millions of different books have been printed. And of all those books – one has sold more copies than any other, and has been translated into more languages than any other, and has affected the world more than any other.

IAN

Oh! I know what it is!

PHIL

Hmm? Oh – hello, Clive and Ian!

IAN

I know what it is!

CLIVE

Introduce yourself first.

IAN

I’m Ian!

CLIVE

And I’m Clive, his brother!

IAN

And I know what it is!

PHIL

All right Ian – tell us! What is the best-selling, most influential book of all time?

IAN

Pat the Bunny.

CLIVE 

Ian!

IAN

Goodnight Moon?

CLIVE

Oh for heaven’s sake!

IAN

Hop on Pop? Green Eggs and Ham?

PHIL

Those are all good guesses, Ian, and they’re all good books – in fact I own every one of those and enjoy them quite a bit. But none of them are the best-selling, most influential book of all time.

No, that honor would go to this book.

IAN 

It’s as big as my head!

CLIVE

And that’s saying something.

IAN

What is that giant book?!?

PHIL

This – is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

IAN

That looks like a phone.

PHIL

It is. It’s my phone. BUT on my phone are TWO different versions of the Bible!

IAN

I’ve got Tetris on my phone.

It’s kinda fun…

CLIVE

I think you’re missing the point.  We’re talking about the Bible!

PHIL

Ahem. Right. The Bible has been translated into more than 2000 languages and dialects, making it the most translated, most influential, best-selling book in the history of the world!

IAN

And I thought Tetris was popular…

PHIL

And that’s why we’re going to take you from one end of the Bible to the other, in our new show – “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

IAN

Catchy title! But shouldn’t it be “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian?”

CLIVE

That has a nice ring to it!

BUCK DENVER

What? No one wants to see “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian!” They want to see “What’s in the Bible with Buck Denver! Man of News!”

IAN

Well, who made you the king of the … Bible shows?

BUCK DENVER

Phil did! When he put my name on the cover!

PHIL

Now, guys – let’s not argue… this is a show about the Bible!

CHUCK WAGGIN 

Hey y’all!

PHIL

Oh – hi Chuck Waggin.

CHUCK WAGGIN

You can’t do a show about the Bible with Yankees and Brits! You need someone from the buckle of the Bible belt! Someone with a GEEtar – who can sing songs like this!

(sings)

Oh the Bible is a book with about a million pages Don’t try to read it all at once, you’re better off in stages!

Don’t drop it on yer foot, or yer toes are gonna ache. Keep it clean and neat and warm and dry for goodness sake!

PHIL

Uh… Chuck Waggin, I don’t know…

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

Oh the Bible is a book with a zillion million words! You can read it all in Hebrew but it’s gonna sound absurd

They were readin’ it in Jesus’ day and we still read it now If your Bible’s made a’ leather it smells sorta like a cow!

Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible is a real important book on the shelf! Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… It’s time to bring it down and take a look for yourself!

It’s time to take that book down from the shelf!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Oh for the love of Henrietta Mears!

Buncha fellas can’t teach the Bible all by themselves! It takes a lady’s touch! Especially if that lady is a professional Sunday School teacher.

PHIL

Hi, Sunday School Lady!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Hello, dear. Welcome to “What’s in the Bible with Sunday School Lady!”

IAN

That’s ridiculous!

CLIVE

Who said SHE could come?!?

AGNES

Good heavens, Winnifred! Only two minutes in and it’s already a train wreck!

WINNIFRED

Yes, Agnes. Should I change it?

AGNES

No! I love it! This is more fun than American Idol!

BUCK DENVER

… with BUCK DENVER!! MAN OF NEWS!!!

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

If you only talk to Yankees your theology is saggin’ … so you better learn yer Bible with a fella like Chuck Waggin!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I’ve got a Magic Flannelgraph!!

PHIL

Hold it! Hold it! HOLD IT!!

We’re teaching the Bible – which says an awful lot about cooperation, and sharing, and getting along with each other.

IAN 

Is that true?

CLIVE 

I’m afraid he’s right.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Good point.

Why didn’t you catch that, Magic Flannelgraph?

Sleeping?!? Your eyes were wide open!!

PHIL

SO – we’re going to go through the Bible TOGETHER. All of you can help.

BUCK DENVER

But… what do we call it?

PHIL

We already have a perfectly good name.

Welcome to “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

CLIVE 

And friends?

PHIL

“… and friends.”

AGNES

Five bucks says they don’t make it past Leviticus.

WINNIFRED

You’re on.