Meet The Characters

Get the Full Version

… And they certainly are characters!

Enjoy the first 5-ish minutes of DVD #1: “In the Beginning”

PHIL

Hello there, I’m Phil Vischer. And I’m here with my friend Buck Denver…

BUCK DENVER

That’s me! Buck Denver! “Man of news!!”

PHIL

Um – right. And we’re here to take you deep inside the most amazing book ever written!

You know, since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press around 1440, millions of different books have been printed. And of all those books – one has sold more copies than any other, and has been translated into more languages than any other, and has affected the world more than any other.

IAN

Oh! I know what it is!

PHIL

Hmm? Oh – hello, Clive and Ian!

IAN

I know what it is!

CLIVE

Introduce yourself first.

IAN

I’m Ian!

CLIVE

And I’m Clive, his brother!

IAN

And I know what it is!

PHIL

All right Ian – tell us! What is the best-selling, most influential book of all time?

IAN

Pat the Bunny.

CLIVE 

Ian!

IAN

Goodnight Moon?

CLIVE

Oh for heaven’s sake!

IAN

Hop on Pop? Green Eggs and Ham?

PHIL

Those are all good guesses, Ian, and they’re all good books – in fact I own every one of those and enjoy them quite a bit. But none of them are the best-selling, most influential book of all time.

No, that honor would go to this book.

IAN 

It’s as big as my head!

CLIVE

And that’s saying something.

IAN

What is that giant book?!?

PHIL

This – is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

And THIS is a Bible.

IAN

That looks like a phone.

PHIL

It is. It’s my phone. BUT on my phone are TWO different versions of the Bible!

IAN

I’ve got Tetris on my phone.

It’s kinda fun…

CLIVE

I think you’re missing the point.  We’re talking about the Bible!

PHIL

Ahem. Right. The Bible has been translated into more than 2000 languages and dialects, making it the most translated, most influential, best-selling book in the history of the world!

IAN

And I thought Tetris was popular…

PHIL

And that’s why we’re going to take you from one end of the Bible to the other, in our new show – “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

IAN

Catchy title! But shouldn’t it be “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian?”

CLIVE

That has a nice ring to it!

BUCK DENVER

What? No one wants to see “What’s in the Bible with Clive and Ian!” They want to see “What’s in the Bible with Buck Denver! Man of News!”

IAN

Well, who made you the king of the … Bible shows?

BUCK DENVER

Phil did! When he put my name on the cover!

PHIL

Now, guys – let’s not argue… this is a show about the Bible!

CHUCK WAGGIN 

Hey y’all!

PHIL

Oh – hi Chuck Waggin.

CHUCK WAGGIN

You can’t do a show about the Bible with Yankees and Brits! You need someone from the buckle of the Bible belt! Someone with a GEEtar – who can sing songs like this!

(sings)

Oh the Bible is a book with about a million pages Don’t try to read it all at once, you’re better off in stages!

Don’t drop it on yer foot, or yer toes are gonna ache. Keep it clean and neat and warm and dry for goodness sake!

PHIL

Uh… Chuck Waggin, I don’t know…

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

Oh the Bible is a book with a zillion million words! You can read it all in Hebrew but it’s gonna sound absurd

They were readin’ it in Jesus’ day and we still read it now If your Bible’s made a’ leather it smells sorta like a cow!

Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible is a real important book on the shelf! Oh the Bible… Oh the Bible… It’s time to bring it down and take a look for yourself!

It’s time to take that book down from the shelf!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Oh for the love of Henrietta Mears!

Buncha fellas can’t teach the Bible all by themselves! It takes a lady’s touch! Especially if that lady is a professional Sunday School teacher.

PHIL

Hi, Sunday School Lady!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Hello, dear. Welcome to “What’s in the Bible with Sunday School Lady!”

IAN

That’s ridiculous!

CLIVE

Who said SHE could come?!?

AGNES

Good heavens, Winnifred! Only two minutes in and it’s already a train wreck!

WINNIFRED

Yes, Agnes. Should I change it?

AGNES

No! I love it! This is more fun than American Idol!

BUCK DENVER

… with BUCK DENVER!! MAN OF NEWS!!!

CHUCK WAGGIN (singing)

If you only talk to Yankees your theology is saggin’ … so you better learn yer Bible with a fella like Chuck Waggin!!

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

I’ve got a Magic Flannelgraph!!

PHIL

Hold it! Hold it! HOLD IT!!

We’re teaching the Bible – which says an awful lot about cooperation, and sharing, and getting along with each other.

IAN 

Is that true?

CLIVE 

I’m afraid he’s right.

SUNDAY SCHOOL LADY

Good point.

Why didn’t you catch that, Magic Flannelgraph?

Sleeping?!? Your eyes were wide open!!

PHIL

SO – we’re going to go through the Bible TOGETHER. All of you can help.

BUCK DENVER

But… what do we call it?

PHIL

We already have a perfectly good name.

Welcome to “What’s in the Bible – with Buck Denver!”

CLIVE 

And friends?

PHIL

“… and friends.”

AGNES

Five bucks says they don’t make it past Leviticus.

WINNIFRED

You’re on.

Comment on a post
0 comments